The story so far - I'm so. . . humbled . . .

This is the begining of the story of  A) my journey to raise funds for a very worthy cause and B) my goal to prove that crowd funding is the way to go when supporting something I really believe in it.

Monday I posted, and about 3 and a half seconds later, a good friend (and fellow crowd fund believer), seeded the first monies.  It was amazing.  And by the next morning, another friend I haven't spoken to in years, but have shared some pretty cool things with, posted an amount that got us 25% of the way to the overall goal. AND that person is checking into whether or not his company will match.  He gave so much AND is willing to talk about it with his employer.  It makes me feel a whole new level of respect and love for my friends and family.

new followers!  eeeeee!!!!

The next day, I posted on the gofundme page, twitter, and facebook that we were 25% there.  Two cool things occurred - First, @royal_news started following my twitter account and tweeted to their fans about our goal.  That's a whole new community that I'm part of because I'm a reader and now they can be part of our goal, too!  Secondly, @Udistfoodbank tweeted about us AND followed my twitter name (@kaypearamsdale).  So sweet and I don't want to let them down now.

On the fourth of July, I rested . . . and I so did everyone else!

Yesterday and today, several more people have donated. My parents donated which means a lot since I know how much they give every year to different people and causes.  They live in Wisconsin and our communication is rarely face to face anymore.  Mostly it's electronic since I am not a fantastic phone talker (not my favorite pasttime).  I love this donation because my mom does this great thing called "pay it forward".   Every month, she and a group of women find individuals/families with needs, collect money, and donate it anonymously. It's something I've thought about, so I'm hoping, this campaign is the start of that in some small way.

Critter's cupcakes courtesy of our fabulous PM

Then there is Critter.  He's a great "kid".  He turned 25 today and donated money for his birthday.  Not only did he do that, he asked that his friends and family back at home (in Wisconsin) donate to  this cause in lieu of getting him birthday presents.  He's a great person and has such a great attitude that this gesture makes him even more awesome.  I feel humbled!

 All of your donataions have gotten us to more than 42% of the way to our goal.  Thank you for each and every dollar.  You have shown me how much love and kindness there is in the people I know AND in people I don't know! 

Stumping for food

This is it - let's see if what I believe actually works. 

I've put together a crowd funding site for the University District Food Bank here in Seattle. I really want to help them get to do  their yearly auction in October, and that means  I need to help them by the end of August.

I'd love for you to help out - even $1 helps them - in fact $1 can make up to 4 meals - I've put on the site WHY I want to do this.

Check it out and that tell me I'm crazy - this  is my experiment and I'm excited to see how it will work.

Thank you for being my guinea pigs on my belief system.  I'm hoping I'm right and I know you'll all help me know if that's the truth.

http://www.gofundme.com/t4n8s

I hope this works - and to all of you that got the email - I'm sorry for the spam - I tried to not double post to you all!

Putting money where my mouth is

The last couple of posts have sort of referred to some big thing I'll be doing.  I'm not sure there will be any "big thing"- but I hope beyond hope, that something big WILL happen so that my step-daughter can look up to some amazing women and be able to see options and choices she has and MAYBE even do something that other little girls will look up to.

And also, I want to feel like I've done "enough" in this life.

So - it's time to put some money where my mouth is.

I've got to DO something - get into action - stop thinking, writing and talking about doing something and ACTUALLY do something.  So, here are some things to look forward to (well, I'm looking forward to them)

• I'm going to GET POLITICAL (I know, you can't wait, right?)
• I'm going to CROWD FUND (I've been crazy about Kickstarter, and now I'm going to translate my enthusiasm)
• I'm going to FEED THE HUNGRY (I do this every year, but this year is gonna be different)
• I'm going to INTRODUCE SOME FANTASTIC WOMEN (I've recently met a fabulous woman and the woman that introduced me deserves her own awards!)
• I'm going to TELL YOU ALL ABOUT ALL OF THIS (of course you can totally ignore me - really, I won't be upset).

So - off I go to DO some of these things and I hope you'll come with me. Ready?

Falling down while looking for direction

A couple of weeks ago, I posted about the struggle that young women have today. I've been obsessively thinking about it and talking with my friends . It was really interesting how, without much work, effort, or thinking, how many things related to this subject came up in just the first 5 days after getting all worked up.  Kickstarter campaigns (another obsessive activity), news articles, twitter and facebook posts, television shows I watch, books in my house, and people at work.

I thought - THIS is my new direction!!!  THIS is the purpose I'm looking for. Epiphany HAD OCCURRED and now everything would be ALL BETTER.  I know I can help show there are wonderful role models for young women in the world.  I just hadn't quite worked out the HOW that was going to happen.

this is how I felt - and Willie hung in there with me

Then - depression hit - a melancholia of the deepest order landed on my lap - manic periods ensued - days of eating the WORST  foods stretched not only my will, but my stomach. All this culminated in three days of no sleep.  I could barely work on that Friday morning. The words coming out of my mouth only really made sense as individual words, not entire coherent sentences.  I determined I needed to go to sleep (duh, I know).

Then the thing the following three days became my saving grace.  Again (not that it is surprising that I talk too much but) - please hang in there with me, this will all make sense in the end (I hope).

Day 1 (a Saturday) - I spent the entire day with my husband.  We went to see Prometheus (this will need to be another post because there is much to say there) and then went shopping for duct tape (really, Gorilla tape, but to help those that understand duct tape onboard. ..it's duct tape) and pillow filler. I believe you are now confused - so let me explain.

I like to sew.  I have been making clothing for a long time in my life and it helps fulfill a weird artistic thing in my soul.  Some folks like to sew quilts, some do costumes, and some do bags. Mostly, I like to sew dresses and skirts (it's a bit selfish, but whatever, I feel like the end product is more likely to be used than if I did any of the others, PLUS, I'm the only one I have to please, so I'm heading off rejection just in case). I can get most stuff done well enough, but sometimes  there comes a point where it becomes, well,  exhausting - it goes something like this.

1. get up off the floor (my sewing table in my only table and it's a coffee table which naturally leads to me sitting on the  floor in front of the machine).
2. get naked
3. put on item
4. go to the mirror
5. attempt to pin or draw on you waist, boob, or back/butt (the last is the hardest, I'm sure you can imagine)
6. take off said item without poking yourself (not easy, just not easy)
7. reclothe
8. get back on floor
9. sew
10. repeat 

The process often takes more time than I have patience for. To be successful at sewing for myself, it is a GREAT help to have a body form - and so, I lack a body form.

It's really Gorilla Tape

How does this relate to duct tape and pillow stuffing?  Well, after doing much googling, reading, and watching of youtube videos, I  learned I could make my own body form with duct tape.  You see, I wanted instant gratification rather than having to go out and purchase one at a store or online. Plus, it's supposed to be less expensive.

So - after Prometheus, I had Mikal duct tape me into a body form.  Note this is an EMBARRASSING picture, but I know you wanted to see it.

It was less than successful - I think Mikal would have called it a success if he could have left me in it. . . However, it turns out, we didn't do it tightly enough and my boobs looked as big as the rest of me.  I'll add here, that I had a self esteem dip due to this misrepresentation of my body.  Mikal and I both agreed that I did NOT look like the duct tape clone which made the dip, not so bad.

The important part of Day 1 was that we did a project together.  We talked, watched a movie and had kind of a fun time duct taping and being duct taped.  It was a fun spending time together.  Recharge #1 - time spent with my husband.

a body form will
help me finish it!

Day 2 - DESPITE the failed body form attempt, I spent the day sewing a dress - it's still not done, but it's pretty close!  The important part of this day is that I accomplished something I had forgotten I liked so much.  recharge #2.

Day 3 - I had a pretty hard conversation  with my boss about my unhappiness.  He and I agreed that this had not that much to do with work and more to do with life. - this feeling isn't going to last forever, it will pass, I just have to figure out how to get there.  Without my knowing it, I had started this journey to get back to fully recharged (see Day 1 and Day 2)

So, that night I went to see Ciara, my best friend and another touch stone I need to be normal (she was also in the post of women I  admire). She was leaving in a few days to Spain for a month.  I had not seen her in about a month and I absolutely could NOT miss a chance to see her before she went on her trip!  I had stayed away for so long because I had mistakenly thought that she needed some space.  When in reality, she'd been finding things to do because I was busy.  My time with Ciara was completely needed to fill my tank up to full.

After leaving Ciara's, I came home and slept soundly for the first time in more than a week.

What these three days taught me is that I have neglected myself and helped myself into my crazy spiral of depression by NOT CONNECTING with the three people I need in order to stay grounded: my husband, myself, and my best friend.  I hadn't been able to think straight because I didn't do what I knew to be true (and had been reminded of with that Meyer's Briggs test) - I need people to be me - Recharge #3

So, having gone through this epiphany, depression and then understanding, I understand that I need to go through a process to figure out what I want and can do about promoting women role models.  Maybe even that phrase "promoting women role models" isn't exactly the end result I'll find.  But I know I want to do something with all of this information about awesome women I know or don't know about.  I want it to be a journey to find the end product.  I don't know what the end product will be, but it will be a journey.

I'm now ok with the fact that I don't know, but I do know that it will be a process and sometimes, being IN the process is the right thing.

So - what does my epiphany and journey mean for all of you? Here is what I can tell you.

• I'm going to write about that journey here. Every post may not seem related, but they are all related to how I go through the journey I call my life and will shape anything that becomes an end product.
• There will be a page on this blog that has links or notes on all of my "research" about this journey
• I'll be reaching out to EVERYONE I know and maybe those that I don't know to get  more information and more research
• But MOSTLY, if you so choose, it means you will be able to:
• Come along on my journey
• Call me out when I need your help to remind me that all is not lost
• Celebrate with me when I have triumphs 
• Teach me about what I need to know to stay on the journey

So - things to look forward to (at least for me, and maybe for you!)

• A body form!!!  I'm buying one - any suggestions of type would be appreciated, but here's the one I'm currently researching.
• discussion about some of my favorite people's women they admire (here are a few)
• Klondike Kate
• Geena Davis
• Rachel Maddow
• Dorothy Parker
• Madeleine Albright
• More about the women I talked about before and maybe some new ones (like Ultra - my comic hero)
• Kickstarter campaigns that promote women as role models
• Maybe interviews with those that want to support this sort of thing (Megan - I'm talking about you and that cool event you went to last night!)
• news articles we should be reading
• opinions about all of this stuff
• you helping me through this journey and being part of it

A ridiculously gluttonous day

When we first met, we used to go out to eat all the time.  That was back when we both had jobs that paid us 100% and when we were courting. . . so we spent WAY more time together than we do now.

So yesterday was a bit of a throw back to our courting days.  And MAN - it lived up to what I remember it to be like.

First - I got up and went to breakfast alone (this is very normal for me, my husband likes to sleep in and isn't that much of a breakfast man - which could have been a deal breaker, but he's way cute, so I can't complain too much).

Then we went to the, very seriously anticipated by us, King Tut exhibit at the Pacific Science center.  Now, I could go on and on and on about how cool it was. . . but that would be a big lie.  We left disappointed.  Very disappointed.  The coolest thing there was this cat sarcophagus.

NO MUMMY was there (unless you count the plastic one they made look like the real one on the way out of the exhibit). . . this sucked on an epic scale as our expectations were fairly high.  We bought our tickets for the exhibit at 1:45pm and the mummies movie at 3:30pm.  We were done with the exhibit by 2:10 - NOT KIDDING.

There were too many people and most of the stuff was from other pharaohs.  And you don't even have any context about who those other pharaohs are unless you go to the movie, which you have to consciously choose to purchased before you go to the exhibit.

The movie wasn't much better - I prefer the real national geographic stuff to this 40 minute thing that kind of made sense, but only kind of. . .

But my husband and I did have a fun time at the act the PSC doing other stuff.  Bathrooms, hippies, music, sun, hamburgers, cheese, water, weird people that cut in line and could have caused alarm, the sun telling me I need to lose weight, and my husband espousing on motors and levers. . .

The best part of the day, though, was dinner.  We went to Bizzarro's - and there are exactly three pictures from there and NONE of them are of the food.  Why?  Well, two the pictures were taken before I saw the cell phone surcharge sign and one because I felt a little bit like being naughty.  It's a picture from my seat.  The picture on the right is actually a shot of where I was sitting on the left side by the window (from their website).  The  picture on your left is of my view out the window (and up).  So pretty.

The staff seemed friendly enough and I felt like it was a bit bizarre that the three wait staff seemed to be either a 50's pinup type, a 60's twiggy throwback, and a 70's rocker chick.  I kind of liked it. I was, however, disappointed in the fact that two things did not happen as I thought maybe they would.  There is a sign when you walk in that says "no one is "fine" with just water" - and the table before us, ALL FOUR OF THEM, said "we're fine with water".  Not a peep from the waitress. . . the sign without action kind of lacks conviction.  Secondly, when I took my flower picture, no one told me not to and didn't charge me a surcharge. . . disappointment on lack of follow through.  It could have been a more fun evening with that kind of follow through.

But without further ado, I would like to say that I had a great meal.  Not everything was great, but overall, I would totally come back to this place.

We started off with the drunken clams - menu actually said the sauce was something to die for - and it was SHAMEFUL I did not finish the last of the clams (did I tell you I hate clams - do not like them. . . unless they are these drunken clams, and then I will eat clams for the rest of my life and only clams).  There were enough clams for both of us to have for a real meal - and this was the STARTER!!!

I ordered the soup of the day, creamy cauliflower.  At first, I burnt my tongue because it was so hot - not a good start.  I think it needed some salt (which I didn't put in there), but after a few spoonfuls, I was enjoying the soup a little too much.  It was creamy and yummy and had a great aftertaste.  Our next course came too quickly - the caesar salad.  Here, nothing too remarkable.  The dressing was original and good, but really, meh -  and next time I would do without and should have tried the caprese salad.

The main courses came - the leg of lamb and brussel sprouts my husband was having smelled SO good.  As did my pesto and shrimp capallini.  My dish needed some salt (and this time I kind of wished I had had some to put it on there).  I'm not a huge salter, but even though the flavors were good, I think it needed a bit more salt.

The brussel sprouts were the winner of the evening - in that lamb sauce - holy ravioli - I would eat that and the drunken clams for every meal every day.  My husband said the lamb was over cooked, but that the closer to the bone he got, the better it was.  I confirmed (of course) with one of the last brussel sprouts and a bit of meat from near the bone.  It's not Plaka's lamb, but it was good - and the sauce and roasted brussel sprouts were DEVINE.

I didn't finish the pesto dish because I really wanted the bavarian cream cake. . . and it was completely worth it.  I finished every last bite and did NOT share.

I didn't mention the wine I had because it was unremarkable. . . and I had to drink it because my husband says nice days are for white wine.  I disagree with this statement and this house pino grigio wasn't so good (the more you drank, the less you cared).  I prefer red wine, but marriage is compromise sometimes and wine seemed to be a small sacrifice.  Mikal had put up with a lot today with his leg and the disappointment in King Tut.

All in all, quite a nice date day with my husband.

The struggle for young women today

It's weird how things come together . . . hang with me here, this will all make sense in a minute (or more)

About three days ago, I was reading my facebook feed and an article from NPR came up. It was an article on the first female african american CEO of a fortune 500 article, Ursula Burns.  I loved the article and thought about sharing it with some of my female co-workers because it had some pretty cool things in it about women and how we should be empowered and just rock it.

Then I got angry.

WHY IS THIS REMARKABLE in 2012?  WHY ARE WE WRITING ARTICLES ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS TO MAKE IT AS A WOMAN (or any part of the "minority")?  WHY? IN 2012?

Because the tragedy of it all is - it is still remarkable in this day and age.  

So, I didn't share the article.  I went on my way ignoring the reality of the situation.  I don't want this reality to be true, so therefore, I pretend it doesn't happen.  And a typically random but wonderful way, I ended up talking about this article with someone I work with who is a fellow female.  She felt the same way - WHY IS THIS NEWS??  It made me feel just defeated that this is still an issue.  And my ignoring the reality is contributing to the fact that it is the reality.

It's funny because I feel like I talk about a lot of things pretty openly.  I give my opinion about anything and everything, but this particular issue, I do not opine or lament about the inequalities for women.   EVER.  I think I thought this type of strategic silent rejection of the situation would make it not so.  I walk the walk so I can talk the talk in so many other ways, I think I felt that by walking the walk (being a good role model by action) that I could talk the talk - unfortunately, we are not there yet for that.  There are still too many "the first female " articles out there for me to just pretend it doesn't exist.

So, last night, I came home and started talking to Mikal about it last night.  And he shared a commercial he remembered about this topic.

Even he was lamenting the choices for his daughter.  I want my step daughter to have role models that ARE NOT reality stars, NOT celebrities for showing skin, NOT fashion models that contribute to eating disorders, NOT famous people that have been made.  I want my step daughter to look up to real women that have MADE THEMSELVES, and are NOT made by an anonymous metaphorical machine.

Women like the following remarkable, amazing  women.

Liz Burns Good - Production Manager for Pearl Jam - one of the ONLY women doing this kind of job for a band of this scale - She hires women and works in a music world old boys club. I am honored to call her my friend.

Terri Weagant - a passionate, courageous, talented artist, director, writer and dreamer - she makes fantastic dreams into reality. I could not have made it through the first part of 2012 without,her, my kindred spirit.

Amanda F'ing Palmer - someone that challenges the status quo for the good of the craft.  She doesn't follow the crowd.  I am proud to have contributed to her cause.

Sharon Nelson - an award winning science teacher and mentor.  She inspired me then and now works with other women to inspire them (including my mom).

Ciara McGrath - a fearless traveller and passionate civil rights activist.  She reminds me every day to reach for places unknown.  Plus, no one can have a beer in a cool bar in a foreign place better than  she! She is my friend and my family.

These are people I want to be like - that I wish I had as much talent, patience, honesty and integrity that they have.  Some are people that I've never met, some are very close to me, some are famous, and some aren't (but should be).

With my discovery of Amanda Palmer, recent connection with a kindred spirit, meeting of new people, and the discussions about why I pretend the inequality of women in the world doesn't exist, and the fact that I'm now a step mother - I have to take a more active role.  I want to inspire like these women.  I want to challenge the current standard, I want there to be NO NEWS - it should just BE.  I want to be part of that.

I'm going to actively have this discussion from now on - I will not be silent.  I will walk the walk and talk the talk in a different way - in a way that will change the WHY these stories are remarkable.  We are remarkable, not because we are the "first" to do anything - we are remarkable, because we ARE remarkable. 

Cocktails at the Centre of the Earth - Review

Most of the time I go to the theater, I spend a huge amount of time evaluating every little thing about the production.  Less about the performance and direction of the performance and more about the lighting or how the show comes off from a stage management perspective.  Why?  Well. . . I'm a stage manager, so I am always interested in how other stage managers make a show go well.  Our jobs are to make the performance go well and look good!

I have to say - when I watched Cocktails at the Centre of the Earth, written and directed by Simon Astor, I did no such thing.  This tells me two things - 1) the Stage Manager rocked (I subsequently learned she does) and 2) the show rocks!  I rarely enjoy a show and just have fun - rare (and I even mean when I go to a huge production like Mama Mia or the like).

In the interest of full disclosure, I do know Simon Astor and several of the performers involved.  I am, perhaps, biased, and that is probably a huge reason for why I attended.  However, my bias does not outweigh the sheer delight I had watching the show.

I am not all that familiar with the steampunk sub-genre except for the cool looking outfits I see when it's a steampunk pub crawl on Capitol Hill, so this glimpse into their world was quite fun!  The story takes you on boats and blimps (or the steampunk equivalent word), under water and ultimately to the centre of the earth.  There are the elite, the wanna-be elite, the educated and inventive, the hard working blue collar workers, the competing performance artists (you'll see what I mean), the oppressed, a real robot and clouds  and sea horses.  You thinking, can that actually make any sense?  YES!

AND IT'S FUN!!!!

Not only is it fun, it's clever, silly and a good time.  The music, done by Meg van Huygen (whom I know as a friend, but didn't know was a talented musician/composer) complimented the clever dialog and itself was clever and interesting.  It isn't every day you listen to music where an accordion is center stage and good!  The band also backed several musical numbers (see, I'm telling you - FUN!) where several really talented vocalists were showcased.  Yes, an accordion backed some rockin' vocals.  Clearly Simon and Meg know how each other thinks.  This added tremendously to my enjoyment.

It's a huge cast.  In fact, when I was perusing the playbill prior to the performance, I thought, how am I going to keep them all straight?  But, again, the clever writing helped me right through my trepidation.  There are too many I liked so here are a few big stand outs for me.  Jonah Martin was hilarious.  He plays about a thousand people, or really one person with a thousand names in several places.  He cracked me up every time the scene changed and he came on stage.  I really did look forward to the beginning of each scene because of his performance.  Katherine Karaus (Patricia) and Monica Wulzen (Dovecote) play perfect bad girl team beauties. Katherine's innocent, adorable bad girl persona was spot on while Monica's dedicated, sexy bad girl persona will give you the chills when she sings (yep, she sings - it's hot!). Kai Curtis' silent movie skills were phenomenal and Todd Hull, Josh Hartvigston, and Laurel Ryan get huge props for their comedic timing.

There are so many things I didn't tell you about this show (talking foxes, peas, a doctor named bunny, oh and BURLESQUE - to name a few) that you'll need to attend to consume some Cocktails at the Centre of the Earth (and btw - Annex's cocktails were good AND apropos).

Am I terrible? - you decide - this is why I hate everyone

This morning, I went over to one of my favorite breakfast haunts for some protein, caffeine, and fat.  I enjoy going to this place because the staff is really good at their jobs and pretty much leaves me to my own devices without making me feel like I'm alone (to protect the innocent, I have changed the names of people and places).  In fact, I am actually quite familiar with the breakfast staff at Gwen's as I am there, almost without fail, every weekend for at least one day.  Eddie, the ever present staffer is pretty awesome, though, I don't know much about him other than he's married, he has a Kindle, and he's about my age, maybe a little older (like I said, I'm left to my own devices unless necessary, which is the way I like it).

Today I went promptly at 10am.  I ordered a ham and cheese omelet with wheat toast.  This is actually a departure from my regular order of over easy eggs, sausage, and an english muffin, so I should have been prepared for a mind altering experience. . .

About 5 minutes after I sat down, two young(ish) men came in and sat down relatively closely to me.  Eddie came over to them and said, "hey, what can I getcha?".  The "prettier" of the two boys barked out the next sentence, "Well, we will need time to read the menu, and in the mean time you can get me a bloody mary."  I took notice.  It was a terribly arrogant way to address Eddie.  But in true classic Eddie, he graciously created a wonderful looking bloody mary and set it in front of "pretty boy" (that'll be his name from now on).

Once Eddie set the bloody mary in front of Pretty Boy, Pretty Boy said - "HEY - when did you all get so fancy around here"?  Eddie said, "well, about 8 years ago".  Pretty Boy did NOT believe this and proceeded to do what I might call some "schooling" to Eddie about how long he'd been coming to Gwen's and how this had NOT been the case.  Eddie, politely listened and then took their order.

The next 10 minutes I sort of tuned out, but basically it was Pretty Boy telling his friend (we'll call him SideKick) about how things were a particular way and such and such and so and so was this way. . . You see, Pretty Boy seemed VERY knowledgeable about everything.  I think you all know these kinds of people.  He's pretty much a text book case of why I hate everyone.  Note that SideKick was taking it all in, nodding in agreement and pretty much not getting any words in edgewise.  Are you surprised?

Ever the professional, Eddie asked if he could get them anything else.  Pretty Boy needed another bloody mary, "without all of that. . . food" (waving his hands around to show his disdain).  And sure enough another bloody mary turned up complete with NO food.

Two sips in, Pretty Boy decided he wanted to pay and leave (they had been there less than 20 minutes for real).  He goes down where Eddie is prepping and says, "Mark. . .Mark. . .hey Mark!".  Eddie responds by saying, "did you just call me Mark"?  Pretty Boy says, "yeah, I just heard someone call you Mark".  Eddie, says, "my name isn't Mark".

Pretty Boy is annoyed, but pays and tips.  He then takes some matches and goes outside to smoke.  I'm so incredulous about how Eddie's been treated, I guess my face shows it.  Eddie comes over to me and says, "can I help you"?  I am laughing and say , "no, you can't help me."  But Eddie gets me some more coffee because he says that he can help.

SideKick is sitting there still texting on his phone.  When Eddie comes back with the coffee, I ask him, "Do you think that guy knows how much of a douche he is?"  At first, Eddie doesn't know who I mean since Eddie is used to dealing with crazy, stupid Douche bags on a regular basis.  When I mention it's the guy who's just left, he laughs and says, "um, no, there's a pretty good chance, with that kind of ego, there is no way he knows."

SideKick gets up and goes out to talk to Pretty Boy. . . you can all guess. . . I'm being tattled on.

Pretty Boy finishes his cigarette and he and SideKick come back in.  Pretty Boy picks up his stuff, then comes over to me and says, "I just wanted you to know that you are really pretty".

AH - I SEE - what to do, what to do. . .

I'm in a dilema here. . . Does he really think I'm going to feel badly for thinking he's a douche?  BUT - I am afraid Eddie won't be tipped (as I'm not actually aware if this happened when he paid - Eddie, later assures me they did).

So - here's what I said, "well, now I can add liar to the list with douche".

off he goes. . .and I don't feel a little bit guilty.

I hate people (these specific kind of people).  The world does not revolve around YOU, douche bag, and you have no right to treat people like your personal entourage.

Tell me, what do you think I should have done?  Am I now in my own category of people I hate?

How we met

Again with the false promises of updating my blog regularly. . . my apologies.  But now I have a bit more time to do so since I'm not working 14 hours a day, running a theather show AND planning a wedding?  Why, you ask? 

Well, work has slowed down since it's the holidays, so 8 hours is all there is. .. always more work, but it can wait until the next day.  Rocky Horror is finally over - sad, but true.  AND - I got married.  Yep, it's official, I'm no longer single.  Though, honestly, I haven't been single for about two years.

So, I figured I'd give you guys some stories.  I mean, that's why you read this right?  So here you go. .

How we met
Mikal likes to say we met at church. . . those that know Kristin, know that it wasn't EXACTLY church.  It was a Sunday, though.  Kristin had just finished her very first very difficult work deployment (software) and was visiting her local watering hole to relax and have a well deserved drink.  She was talking on the phone outside the building when, across the way, she saw a very handsome man in sunglasses.  After she got off the phone she went into the bar.
This is where the story differs depending on to whom you speak. Both believing his or her story is the correct one.  No one will ever know and they are both so stubborn, they won't conceed.

Mikal says that the ENTIRE BAR was open and when she came in, she thought "how cute is he, I'll sit down next to him." 

Kristin says that she frequently visited this bar and although the seating in the entire bar was open, at the actual bar, there were two seats open.  One next to him and the other in front of the video gambling machine.  So, she sat next to him to get her drink and read her book as she often did.  It was hard to read and spread out in front of the video gambling machine.
What happens next isn't up for debate.  Mikal got the courage up to ask, "what are you reading?".  Kristin replied, "The Golden Compass."  Mikal brightens, saying, "my daughter read that!" (Lauren has since disputed that she's ever read this book)

What followed was a very fun and funny conversation about Lauren, Mikal's daughter, what we did for a living, how Kristin knew the manager, how Mikal knew the owner, and other generally interesting things.  They talked for several hours and Kristin then got up to leave, as she had to work the next day.  Mikal gave her his number because he wanted to make Kristin feel comfortable AND he didn't want to be given a number that was a "wrong number."
When Kristin got home, she texted Mikal (getting home took only 5 minutes).  Mikal had gotten up to leave, but when he received the text, he ran back to the bar in case Kristin had come back.  She had not, but they soon started dating and the rest is history!
.

Getting married

So...getting married in a month. Pretty lovely story. Check it out.

Day 5 - pain levels

well. . . I knew it wouldn't last.  Yesterday, the pain returned.  I was at a pain level of 6-7 and muscle spasms abounded.  Yuck.

And quitting smoking sucks really really badly.

Quitting Smoking. . . AHHHH

Ok - I have to say, this sucks so bad.  I really really want a cigarette.  The worst part about it is that I only really have one a day.  And not even having the one is killing me.

The best part?  Holy ravioli, I have to say, the best part is that when I post on Facebook, I get so much positive encouragement.  How could I not quit?  I might disappoint all of you.  I'm staying strong and having some lasagna.  . . . unfortunately, it's my second choice sine my Chicken Tikka Masala is not going to happen (Annapurna is closed - AHHHH).  I know, food isn't the best replacement, but to be serious, I haven't eaten since 2pm, so it's not so bad.

Thank you everyone.  Much appreciated.

BTW - pain level is up to 5 - I am having bad spasm, especially in my upper peck on the right side.  Driving me crazy!

Pain level Journal - Day 1 (though, really day 4)

The neurosurgeon told me I needed to keep track of my pain level until I meet him again.  Since my appointment is not until Friday, May 27th, I have a couple of weeks to keep track.  I'm going to start with the day of the injection until now.   The first day is a bit verbose because you have to keep track every hour for several hours.

Day 1 - May 12, 2011

• Starting Pain level (out of 10) - 7
• 15 minutes post injection - 2
• 30 minutes post injection - 1
• 1 hour post injection - 2
• 2 hours post injection - 2
• 3 hours post injection - 4 (though, I think this had to do with the injection site)
• Then I slept
• 11 hours post injection - 3
• 12 hours post injection - 3
• 13 hours post injection - 3



see the red on my neck?  That's the injection site!

• 14 hours post injection - 3

I have to say - a 3 out of 10 feels like HEAVEN!!  (pretty funny the apple photo effects randomly picked my injection site!)

Day 2 - May 13, 2011

• Pain level - 4
• No muscle spasms

Day 3 - May 14, 2011

• Pain level - 4
• muscle spasms started in the evening around 7pm

Day 5 - May 15, 2011

• Pain level - 4
• muscle spasms right away in the morning - needed to take muscle relaxers. . . they only died down for now.  Needed to take multiple times during the day.

Anyway - we'll see how it goes!

new leaves. . .

Willing it to Shine!

Yesterday I tried to quit smoking. . . and I failed on the first day.

Today is a new day.  Today I am going to try again.  Today I will be stronger.  Today I am stronger.

I think I let too much of the other things in my life be excuses to my ability to be better.  It is truly those things that make me who I am and make me better.

This week I found out several things that are. . . .let's call them. . . "opportunities to grow" - things I suggest above are my excuses.  Perhaps I can use these as excuses, but really, they are the things that make you better, stronger, more alive.   I need to make this the time to turn over a new leaf.  Not just in smoking, but in other ways too.  First the things that I use as excuses for not being the best person I could be.

Mikal found out he has severe femoral nerve damage.  We don't know what the future holds for him in that arena, and so we move forward to try to work within that world - for an active man, it's a hard blow.  Lots of internet research to understand the long term affects aren't all that encouraging.

On the heels of that, I had an MRI and a reading of that MRI.  The result?  I met a neurosurgeon. . . My tasks here?  Well, on Thursday I had an injection in the area of C7 where I have a herniated disc.  The neurosurgeon has asked that I journal my level of pain so that he can help determine that surgery may or may not help.  The theory here is that if the injection seems to help, surgery is likely to also help in a more permanent way.

Internet searches are my enemy.  I have decided that people only post when it's negative because it's on their minds.  If they have had success, then why think of it at all?  Whether this is a delusional thinking or not, it's what I'll choose to believe for the time being.  I have wonderful friends that have given me names of folks that have had this type of surgery with much success.

After this news, I felt it was time to quit smoking.  I don't do it much anyway, however, smoking is smoking is smoking.  When I successfully have not smoked for a year, I will be much healthier anyway.  Unfortunately, I am a social smoker especially when alcohol is involved.  And last night, my will did not stand.  I had a great time at a friend's auction event.  There was wine - and it was "included" with my ticket.  So. . .I had three cigarettes.  This is actually more than I normally have.  I usually only have one or maybe two a day and can go days without it.

I also did something pretty horrible.  I forgot a very good friend's birthday.  I hate that I cannot keep up with all of the most important things in my life.  I need to re-prioritize.  So, I take today to do so.  

New leaves - no smoking, no excuses, no forgetting, no getting bogged down in the "what ifs".  On Monday, I actually posted a picture of the back of my head - I was willing a good sunny day - it didn't exactly work until the end of the day.  I'm using it as one of the pictures in today's posting because it's sort of a representation of what I want to do for the rest of my life - I'm willing it to be sunny.

Open Circle Theater Needs Your Help

Many of you may have gotten my mass email and if you have, please forgive me for spamming you again - as well as the official 'ask' I'm about to do (and my apologies if you have gotten this from someone else at OCT). As many of you know, I'm deeply involved in the fringe theater community in Seattle - and as any of you who support or participate in the performing arts (or other types) yourselves, you know how hard it is to keep a non-profit going. As the letter will explain, Open Circle Theater, where I'm currently the Managing Director and have worn as many hats as Stage Manager, Bartender, Box office attendant and general cleaner-upper, has a fantastic theater space - one of the best in the fringe community here for sure and we'd like to keep it. But we do need community support quickly if we're to maintain the space further into the year. 

I completely understand we are just another hand out among many that are asking for your financial support right now - but I'm asking you personally - and letting you know that truly anything you could spare would make a difference. 

Thanks to those of you who've come to support us in the past and even if you're unable to donate, don't be a stranger and come on down to see a late night, hear a play reading or do the Time Warp when Rocky Horror opens near the end of March.

Much love,

~kp (or Kristin for those of you that don't know me as kp)

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Open Circle Theater needs your help!

 

OCT is on the cusp of its 20th anniversary of being a fringe theater in Seattle. This is almost unheard of especially with the recent news of many theaters closing due to the current economic conditions. Two years ago we moved from South Lake Union into Belltown and created Seattle's finest fringe theater space - just check out any of the reviews!

 

Who could foresee the economic downturn that has hit everyone so hard? In response to this change, Open Circle Theater has a new Artistic Director, a new Managing Director, a new acting Board President and in the last year has added at least eight more company members. In addition, we reached out to the community and asked for collaborators. Unfortunately, we couldn't fill that need in the timeline we had. Because of that, we're in jeopardy of losing our space.

 

Here's where you can make a difference in the Seattle arts community. We are asking for your support. Even the smallest donation can help us continue our craft and save our theater.

 

Please act now! You can donate while you are watching one of our great late nights in the next two weeks OR you can mail in a donation.  Here is our address:

 

Open Circle Theater

2222 2nd Avenue, Ste 222

Seattle, WA 98122

We thank you and look forward to continuing to serve you some of the best theater in Seattle!

Much love,
kp Ramsdale
Managing Director
Open Circle Theater
kp@octheater.com

Engaged! Come Join Us to Celebrate

So. . . if you haven't heard, I got engaged last weekend on Friday, February 11, 2011 to Mikal Viencek.  I'm so happy to announce this!  If any of you have followed my blog, you have read about my past and understand that this type announcement is really huge!

We would love you to come and join us to celebrate!  This weekend and next weekend we'll be spending our time at Open Circle Theater (those of you that know me, know this is NOT a surprise).  We want you to come and join us at the theather for three VERY special shows.  Mikal and I will be there either enjoying the show and your company or working the show and enjoying your company!

Friday, February 18th is Sylvia and Tor's Cabaret.  It's the AWESOME cabaret with great singing and entertainment from Sylvia of the famous Bacon Strip.  If you have seen her stuff, you KNOW you'll want to be there.  The COOLEST thing about this Friday, is that it's Pay What Ya Wanna.  You can reserve seats (and it's recommended) on Brown Paper Tickets.  She is hilarious!  It'll be a good time and you can come down and toast to Mikal and me with a special drink (I won't spoil what it is if you're gonna come!).  It starts at 8pm, so come on down to Belltown.  If you wanna have dinner before, you can try the new Dope Burger (great reviews) or Mama's Mexican Kitchen.

Saturday, February 19th is Mitzy's Ditzy Glitzy Variety Show.  It starts at 10pm and is really cool for several reasons.  First, I'm the tech person, so come see me be a slave to the lights and sound.  Secondly, there are some ridiculously talented Burlesque dancers, poets, drag queens, and of course bartenders and crew (that's me and Monica!).  The show is for those of us that need to recover from our Valentine's day.  If you ask Mikal, he needs to recover from my woeful attempt at being romantic.  Let's face it, he and I are SERIOUSLY a mess, so comiserating with the rest of the group will be some great therapy. 

Then NEXT weekend is OCT does CSI: Miami.  It's a TRUE disaster but HILARIOUS!  It's a "script in hand" improv of the television show.  If you came to see OCTV does Battle Star Glacatica, you will LOVE this.  I'm doing tech for the show, so come and see how much I screw up with some scotch!  It'll be a good time. 

At any rate.  Mikal and I want you to come out and toast with us.  It'll be a good time and you'll be helping out my greatest love that isn't a human.  It'll be great!

A Very Merry Scary Gary Christmas!

My dad totally came through!  He read the blog and donned the Scary Gary mask!  It rocks - but not nearly as scary as I remember it.  I'm guessing being 36 and not 6 makes a HUGE difference!  Thanks Dad for bringin' it out and Thanks Mom for takin' the pic! Enjoy and Merry Christmas to everyone!

fondest of memories

Tonight started out like most of the nights I've had over the last few weeks; work ends, I run to the car and dash to some theater thing, then home to help Mikal with his knee, then watch a little tele, then do some numbers for the theater, and finally off to bed.  So, I had gotten to the "then watch a little tele", when some weird magic happened and my night changed for the better.

Magic you ask - well, it's that really random but wonderful magic of memories.  They hit you when you least expect it.  I'm not sure if it is the holidays, my time of the month, or just a serendipitous coincidence.  A memory that makes you smile or chuckle - but in my case, I felt like a child can feel; happy and like there isn't anyone cooler than . . . your dad.  I'm not sure what I was doing or what made me remember, but I decided, after sharing it with Mikal, that I needed to share with all of you.  And really hope he reads it.  Then he'll know how much I love him (even if these words are inadequate, they are the closest way for me to say it) and how much I love my mom for marrying him (I love her for other reasons, but this is near the top of the list).

You're screaming at me - DUDE! what is the memory already - ok - I'm there.

Every year for Halloween, my dad, Gary, would dress up with this mask and cape.  The mask was of this old man, but his ears were really pointy and his teeth were sharp and scary (now, the sad thing is that I have no pictures to actually show you what it DID look like - remember, this is my childhood memory; it could be completely made up - you'll have to wait for my dad to tell you it's real).  I remember the cape being black with a brilliant lining of red satiny material.  So dramatic.  While children were trick or treating, every time the doorbell rang, my dad would jump out from the door and say, in his best deep voice, "wah haa haa haa haa" - it was pretty scary - pretty cool scary!

Next door lived a small boy about 5 or more years younger than we, named Jeremy.  I remember this particular year as being about 5 or 7.  Jeremy was knocked off his rocker when dad first answered the door; scared silly - silly scared, then laughing hysterically.  It became a tradition.

And once Jeremy knew that a scary man would answer our door every once in a while, he'd try it out regularly.  Yes, we would randomly answer our door to a Jeremy asking for "Scary Gary".  At first we didn't understand, because upon Jeremy wait for us to open the door and in his fit of excitement waiting to be scared and when he WASN'T laughing so hard his words were unitelligble, "issthh sctharty garee here"?

And he did it three or four times before we understood "issth sctharty garee here" to be "is scary gary here"?  So, what did dad do?  March over to our neighbors and tell them their son was doorbell ditching?  OF COURSE NOT.  My dad did the best thing possible: he went and got the mask and when the doorbell rang again, he jumped out and SCARED Jeremy silly!  It to fits of laughing. 

How cool is that?  It's even cooler when you find out that my dad is my step-dad.  He met my sister and me when we were 3 and 5.  In fact, my mom wasn't sure he'd be ok with two kids, but his response was close to, "well, we'll bring 'em along" - to the drop zone - where you jump out of planes.  He loved us.  That's the coolest part.  And he loved the neighbor kids.  And now - he loves his grandkids - he's so cool, what does one of my nephews want to be when he grows up?  A pilot - like his Gary (Gary is the noun for grandpa - the kind of grand parent who prefers to be called Gary - but grandma is Colleen  - so what's a 5 year to think?)

Anyway, I hope he reads this.  I love him and tonight, my whole night was full of sweet memory because of Jeremy and Gary's Scary Gary.  Thanks dad.

Love you,
love me.

It's official!

kp Ramsdale has been involved with theatre for over 17 years.  She originally lived in Madison, Wisconsin and migrated her way West to this wonderful city of Seattle where there is a gold mine of theatre opportunity.  She started her experience having seen an Open Circle Theater production of Re-animator.  Being an H.P. Lovecraft fan, she fell in love immediately and asked, on closing night, to be part of this quirky, talented and daring theater.  OCT welcomed her in 2003 with open arms as their assistant stage manager for Ondine. Since then, she has stage managed, house managed, or been involved in more than 8 shows and the most recent Eat My Shorts festival at Open Circle Theater.  In addition to OCT, she has also lent her organizational talents to Seattle Musical Theater for Honk! and Jane Eyre and the Fischer Ensemble where she managed a production that travelled to New York.  In her life outside of theatre, she manages change at a global logistics company in an IT department of over 600 here in Seattle for the last 5 years.  She is excited to take her experience in the business world and mix it with her love of theater to work as the Managing Director at Open Circle Theater.

A story people wanted to hear. . .it's a little ratty

So, for some reason, last week at work we were swapping bus stories.  So, I told a story related to a "fuzzy" time in my life.  Fuzzy in more than one way.  You'll see what I mean.

In April of 2008 I went to the  Passport to Woodenville.  For those of you that haven't heard of this event, it involves a lot of wine in two days.  If you're doing it right, you're using the spitters.  There are those of us that. . . well. . . don't.

My friends Harry and Barb took me out as I hadn't been in a while (it was only about 6 months after Alistair passed away) and we had a good two days.  The original plan was for me to hang with Barb and Harry at their house the first night.  Woodenville isn't too far from my house in downtown Seattle, but it was far enough that we didn't want to bother with driving.  It would be like a "staycation" for me.

The sad part was that my cat, CJ, well, Alistair's cat, was very ill.  He had beeb diagnosed with colon cancer and wasn't going to be with us much longer.  The vet said that as long as he was still eating and cuddling, he was doing ok.  His eating and cuddling had gotten more feeble, so I wasn't very inclined to spend any time away from him.  He was 19, and he had had a good life, but I was not yet ready to spend any time away from him.  Those of you that knew Alistair and his love for cats (specifically CJ) know that CJ led a VERY spoiled life!

So instead of staying the night at Harry and Barb's house, I opted to take the 522 home that night and then back the next day in order to spend more time with CJ.  This is where the adventure begins. . .

I was a bit fuzzy when I got on the bus. . . remember, there are those of us that don't use the spitter at the winery events (this is a cautionary tale for those of you that don't use the spitters, to USE THE SPITTERS).  We had visited at least 15 wineries at that point, so a bit fuzzy was a good way to describe myself.  It was also about 8pm-ish. . .

About two stops later (it's a 1/2 hour bus ride - give or take a few minutes), a man got on the bus with a duffel bag.  When I had boarded the bus, I had taken the first seat at the front on the left side of the bus; he took the two across the aisle.  The ride went as per normal for a few more stops.  Then he opened his duffel bag and pulled out. . .are you ready?

A RAT - a baby one, but a RAT.

I was a bit, let's say, bewildered, but not grossed out or anything.  Remember, I'm a bit fuzzy.

This is an interesting turn of events, so I go ahead and say hi and ask him about his rat.  He tells me the following:  He has just left his warehouse in Woodenville to pick up his pet rats to bring to Seattle.

ok - did I hear the right?  I did, so I ask about why he is bringing them to Seattle and how many he brought.  He proceeds to open his duffel bag and which point a do blanch a bit because there are at least 30, yes 30 rats in the duffle bag.  One of them is HUGE since it's the mama.

Hmmmm. . . he then asks me if I want to hold one.  Do, I freak out, do I decline, do I accept?  A non-fuzzy person would probably decline, but remember. . . I didn't spit.  So, I picked one up.   Please forgive the quality of the pictures. . . remember, fuzzy.

As it turns out, baby rats are fuzzy too.  And AWFULLY cute and cuddly.  How do I know?  He had me hold another one.

  They are super adorable and very friendly.  And curious.  They like to travel.
  They had so much fun, they eventually fell asleep for the rest of the ride.  I was so intrigued. . . or fuzzy. . . or, well, I'm not sure what possessed me.  

But I decided that I wanted to take a picture of the guy that sells rats from a warehouse in Woodenville.  He looks. . . like he sells rats from a warehouse in Woodenville.

Anyway, I made it home safe. . .


And I made it back the next day.  I spit more that day.  Thanks Harry and Barb!