Sheer terror might describe how I felt a bit before the show started on Saturday at 2pm. I was going to be trapped in a theater, in not so comfortable seats, for one hour and 45 minutes with no intermission, listening to someone go on about what it felt like when their spouse died. I was truly having an anxiety attack. I wasn't sure I could do it.
But let me set the whole thing up, because, man, this day was a pretty big doozy!
I was having a very lovely Saturday morning. I slept in late and then Mikal and I went to Starbucks (they have nice chairs to relax in) and we read the newspaper, had hot chocolate, did the cross word puzzle (well, attempted anyway), and generally had a lovely morning.
When we got to my house after our morning, I decided to check my mail (this is actually pretty unusual for me on a Saturday morning). I can't even remember why I decided to do this. But I did. . . And I had a shock when I saw an email from my mother. It was about my grandmother. She was ill and probably wasn't going to last more than a few days.
I went into a tizzy and Mikal didn't understand why. So, I explained and then spent the next hour trying to figure out when, how, and how much I could get to Wisconsin. I basically found out that if I left Sunday evening and came back on Wednesday (remember, Hall is coming for Alistair's anniversary. . . ), I could get it for a reasonable price. So, all there was to do was wait. And I had a play to go to. . .
Mikal said, "really, you still want to go?" I mean, I paid for the tickets, we had the time, I didn't have anything else to do except wait to get on a plane the next NIGHT, so yes, I still wanted to go. . . I had been crying all week (Ted Kennedy dying really had me all up in an emotional state too because of all the politics of using his death to get things done - disgusting!) and now I was crying because of my grandmother.
So we went.
I think surreal is probably the best way to describe the whole part before play started. We had tickets to on stage left (or house right). But in doing that, apparently we have to walk by the wall of (is there any way to describe this????). . . The wall of . . . Goodbyes.
I look at the wall, I read the wall, I absorb the wall, then I walk past the wall (without remembering Mikal being there) to my seat. The next fifteen minutes are pure terror. I think, "I can't do this", "what am I doing????", "this isn't fair to Mikal", "I can't do this", "what am I doing", well, you get the idea. I feel like those kids that have the knee taping affliction and I think I actually have this affliction for a bit before the show starts.
Part of the scariness of this play is that there is no intermission, so there is NO WAY to escape without making a bit of a scene (you know, everyone sees you leave).
Then the lights dim, the music starts, the sound of the ocean begins. . . And then her voice. And what is the first thing she says?
“This happened on December 30, 2003. That may seem a while ago but it wont when it happens to you. And it will happen. The details will be different, but it will happen to you. That’s what I’m here to tell you,”
And I understand. ..
I feel relief. . .
She knows. . .
It is understood. . .
"Okay", I say, " I can do this, I know why I'm doing this - and Mikal gets it."
Inhale, exhale, inhale, exhale. . .
The play is really enjoyable. And as we leave, on the wall of goodbyes, I write "ASR because that's all you'd allow". The only people that need to understand that are me and ASR.
You aren't alone (really even when you think you are).
Saturday, January 16, 2010
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Living with things
I'm going to take Mikal to this play called "The Year of Magical Thinking". That in and of itself isn't that interesting until you know what the play is about. Here, read an excerpt:
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/thearts/2009702020_didion21.html
Difficult to say the least, no?
We were on our way to Costco last Saturday on Third Avenue stopped at a light next to a bus with the advertisement to this play. I just started thinking about how wonderful Mikal is about Alistair. He never makes me feel uncomfortable when I'm talking about Alistair. In fact, he really makes me feel completely okay. I'm very lucky. I then started to feel really badly about "making" Mikal go to this play. . . And said as much. I even said that I would take someone else if he wanted me to.
The problem here, for me anyway, is that it's almost that time again (this is 10 days and counting - not nearly as bad as it was the last two years, but bad enough. I didn't realize when I bought the tickets to the show, that this play was about my life's most defining moment. So, it's not like I picked this time to go to this show.
A couple of days before I was reliving the day I found out. Where I was in the dealership, how the car salesman's card floated to the floor while Ciara and Gus came to collect me, how I can't really remember getting back to their house and how I remember the nice warm sweats they gave me to make me feel better. My eyes well now at these thoughts as I write them. But a couple of days ago, I was reliving them in my head - that isn't the big deal - it was that I was reliving them on my way back from a seeing a movie with Mikal.
He noticed my demeanor change and wanted to help, as he always does. He's a fixer, like me. I didn't feel the least bit weird telling him, but I did feel guilty about thinking after we'd had such a nice date and said as much. He always seems to say the right thing. That time, I think it was something like - it's getting close, you're going to think about it. You okay?
How great is that?
Which brings us back to Saturday. Mikal said he wanted to go with me. He said he knows I'm going to cry, but that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But most importantly, he said this, "you deal with it every day just like I do, but in my own way."
Can you believe how selfish I've been. I didn't even think he'd have to deal with my husband's death every day. But there he is, hanging out with me and there is this "thing" I have in my life that is a constant. There isn't a way around him not seeing it, knowing it, feeling it, dealing with it.
I didn't know. How could I not know. Most people would think that Mikal feels like he's got to live up to Alistair, but he knows it's not a competition and never can be. And it's not that he just says that, you feel it. His major concern is that I'm happy and that he can say the right thing when I need to talk.
It's interesting. . . I never thought that he lived with it too. But I guess, how can you not? I live with the fact that he has a daughter every day. But "live with" sounds so. . .so negative.
It's not negative. We both have very significant things in our lives that make us who we are. And those things are both very important to us. And I don't think we would be able to be with one another if we didn't accept or embrace those things (Alistair and Eloise). So, we both may "deal with" or "live with" these facts, but truly, it's like embracing the other person and their history.
Anyway, I'll let you know how the show goes. . .
http://seattletimes.nwsource.com/html/thearts/2009702020_didion21.html
Difficult to say the least, no?
We were on our way to Costco last Saturday on Third Avenue stopped at a light next to a bus with the advertisement to this play. I just started thinking about how wonderful Mikal is about Alistair. He never makes me feel uncomfortable when I'm talking about Alistair. In fact, he really makes me feel completely okay. I'm very lucky. I then started to feel really badly about "making" Mikal go to this play. . . And said as much. I even said that I would take someone else if he wanted me to.
The problem here, for me anyway, is that it's almost that time again (this is 10 days and counting - not nearly as bad as it was the last two years, but bad enough. I didn't realize when I bought the tickets to the show, that this play was about my life's most defining moment. So, it's not like I picked this time to go to this show.
A couple of days before I was reliving the day I found out. Where I was in the dealership, how the car salesman's card floated to the floor while Ciara and Gus came to collect me, how I can't really remember getting back to their house and how I remember the nice warm sweats they gave me to make me feel better. My eyes well now at these thoughts as I write them. But a couple of days ago, I was reliving them in my head - that isn't the big deal - it was that I was reliving them on my way back from a seeing a movie with Mikal.
He noticed my demeanor change and wanted to help, as he always does. He's a fixer, like me. I didn't feel the least bit weird telling him, but I did feel guilty about thinking after we'd had such a nice date and said as much. He always seems to say the right thing. That time, I think it was something like - it's getting close, you're going to think about it. You okay?
How great is that?
Which brings us back to Saturday. Mikal said he wanted to go with me. He said he knows I'm going to cry, but that he wouldn't want to be anywhere else. But most importantly, he said this, "you deal with it every day just like I do, but in my own way."
Can you believe how selfish I've been. I didn't even think he'd have to deal with my husband's death every day. But there he is, hanging out with me and there is this "thing" I have in my life that is a constant. There isn't a way around him not seeing it, knowing it, feeling it, dealing with it.
I didn't know. How could I not know. Most people would think that Mikal feels like he's got to live up to Alistair, but he knows it's not a competition and never can be. And it's not that he just says that, you feel it. His major concern is that I'm happy and that he can say the right thing when I need to talk.
It's interesting. . . I never thought that he lived with it too. But I guess, how can you not? I live with the fact that he has a daughter every day. But "live with" sounds so. . .so negative.
It's not negative. We both have very significant things in our lives that make us who we are. And those things are both very important to us. And I don't think we would be able to be with one another if we didn't accept or embrace those things (Alistair and Eloise). So, we both may "deal with" or "live with" these facts, but truly, it's like embracing the other person and their history.
Anyway, I'll let you know how the show goes. . .
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
And so it starts. . . or is continuing its cycle?
Eleven (11) days and counting. . . To what you ask? Well, to the day I found out my life changed forever. It kind of seems like a never ending journey. There's the death date (September 6), the holidays (all of them from Labor day through New Years - and even Valentines day), the anniversary (April 1 - we met that day), the birthday (July 28th), then the death date again. . . And the cycle begins all over again.
I think I'm getting better at it - well, in my opinion or at least my hope, I'm getting better at it. I think my head and sometimes my emotions are not necessarily in agreement with me. A couple of days ago I was reliving the day I found out. Where I was in the dealership, how the car salesman's card floated to the floor while Ciara and Gus came to collect me, how I can't really remember getting back to their house and how I remember the nice warm sweats they gave me to make me feel better. My eyes well now at these thoughts as I write them. But a couple of days ago, I was reliving them in my head - that isn't the big deal - it was that I was reliving them on my way back from a seeing a movie with Mikal.
It seemed so random. There wasn't any trigger. The movie we saw was District 9 (I'll have to do a bit on that as well), so, not really any triggers. And even a few days before I was watching Ghost Town and it didn't even cross my mind ONCE that it had to do with a spouse dying. These emotional outbursts are so random.
Sometimes, I'm not even sure why my emotions overwhelm me. Two examples - yesterday I was walking home listening to the Wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the west soundtrack (I'm going to the play on Sept 10th - super psyched!) and there is this song that Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) sings that talks about her having no limits and being able to fly. The words are stirring, but that's not what made me have an emotional break (I started to cry). It was the actual notes she was singing. The end of that song is AWESOME - the notes, the keys, the fullness of her voice, the conviction in the sound. It fills me with great feeling and makes me realize all over again how much I love musicals. But to cry over it? Seems a bit over the top. I'm the first to admit, I'll totally cry when I'm at the show, but before - I don't even know the story yet (I'm still reading the book).
The second example is even MORE random. I was watching Boston Legal (my new favorite show that doesn't exist anymore). Spader's character says to Shatner's character when asked if he likes the new fiance, "she makes my friend smile, and that's all that matters to me." WATERWORKS! Seriously? At that? And it's even more random because those two characters are total and complete ASSES in the show. So what that they have this weird and endearing fondness for each other (part of the appeal). . . But I kind of draw the line at crying for this show. . . NOT a show to cry during, really. . . Feel free to disagree with me.
So, not sure why I'm crying. I think it must have to do with the time of year, the stress of the job, and the fact that I'll be going to the mountain this year with Alistair's best friend. You see we have to deposit some of Alistair's ashes on Mount Rainier (again - I'll tell that story a bit later). Plus, I promised Al I would bring CJ up there too (his beloved cat that died 6 months after he did. . . At least Al was spared that). I haven't been up there since April of 2008. . .
Feeling a little guilty about that, but also feeling guilty because I'm not sure I'm ready to go back. But I promised Jason (that's Al's best friend). So, we'll do it. He needs it. He really does. And maybe it'll be good for me too.
I'm just hoping that the random and sometimes utterly unexplainable waterworks moments recede - even for just a little bit until the holidays.
I think I'm getting better at it - well, in my opinion or at least my hope, I'm getting better at it. I think my head and sometimes my emotions are not necessarily in agreement with me. A couple of days ago I was reliving the day I found out. Where I was in the dealership, how the car salesman's card floated to the floor while Ciara and Gus came to collect me, how I can't really remember getting back to their house and how I remember the nice warm sweats they gave me to make me feel better. My eyes well now at these thoughts as I write them. But a couple of days ago, I was reliving them in my head - that isn't the big deal - it was that I was reliving them on my way back from a seeing a movie with Mikal.
It seemed so random. There wasn't any trigger. The movie we saw was District 9 (I'll have to do a bit on that as well), so, not really any triggers. And even a few days before I was watching Ghost Town and it didn't even cross my mind ONCE that it had to do with a spouse dying. These emotional outbursts are so random.
Sometimes, I'm not even sure why my emotions overwhelm me. Two examples - yesterday I was walking home listening to the Wicked: the life and times of the wicked witch of the west soundtrack (I'm going to the play on Sept 10th - super psyched!) and there is this song that Elphaba (the Wicked Witch) sings that talks about her having no limits and being able to fly. The words are stirring, but that's not what made me have an emotional break (I started to cry). It was the actual notes she was singing. The end of that song is AWESOME - the notes, the keys, the fullness of her voice, the conviction in the sound. It fills me with great feeling and makes me realize all over again how much I love musicals. But to cry over it? Seems a bit over the top. I'm the first to admit, I'll totally cry when I'm at the show, but before - I don't even know the story yet (I'm still reading the book).
The second example is even MORE random. I was watching Boston Legal (my new favorite show that doesn't exist anymore). Spader's character says to Shatner's character when asked if he likes the new fiance, "she makes my friend smile, and that's all that matters to me." WATERWORKS! Seriously? At that? And it's even more random because those two characters are total and complete ASSES in the show. So what that they have this weird and endearing fondness for each other (part of the appeal). . . But I kind of draw the line at crying for this show. . . NOT a show to cry during, really. . . Feel free to disagree with me.
So, not sure why I'm crying. I think it must have to do with the time of year, the stress of the job, and the fact that I'll be going to the mountain this year with Alistair's best friend. You see we have to deposit some of Alistair's ashes on Mount Rainier (again - I'll tell that story a bit later). Plus, I promised Al I would bring CJ up there too (his beloved cat that died 6 months after he did. . . At least Al was spared that). I haven't been up there since April of 2008. . .
Feeling a little guilty about that, but also feeling guilty because I'm not sure I'm ready to go back. But I promised Jason (that's Al's best friend). So, we'll do it. He needs it. He really does. And maybe it'll be good for me too.
I'm just hoping that the random and sometimes utterly unexplainable waterworks moments recede - even for just a little bit until the holidays.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Relief
Some of you might have heard that I've been having some medical problems. How could you not, my facebook updates are always giving you my pain level. I've always had problems with my back (or at least for the last 15 years - especially when I burst that disc - what fun!). But over the last five years, I've had a bunch of problems with my arms. I've lost feeling, I've had lots of pain, swelling…all sorts of good stuff. I've been seeing doctors for it and they've mostly been treating the symptoms.
WELL! Three weeks ago I went to this GREAT neurologist, Dr. Lily Jung. She told me she thought I had some neck problems just from doing some reflex tests, so she ordered this MRI for my neck. I've never had that done before and if you have, it's a bit interesting if you don't like small spaces.
The MRI was scheduled for 7am, which meant I had to be there at 6:30 to fill out all the "I don't have metal in my head or neck' paperwork. Firstly, I check into the regular medical place and they say, go to "so and so" place. So, I go down this hallway, and I see all these huge x-ray machines and no counter, no check-in, just a bunch of dudes hanging around in scrubs by a couple of hospital tables. . .Very reassuring, I tell you.
I finally get the attention of one guy and he takes my paperwork and he's like "oh - we're doing a neck MRI with contrast". With Contrast? What is that? Apparently, it's an MRI with fluid that can be detected by the machines shot up in your arm. I'm not squeamish or anything, so I'm not that upset about it (yet).
The MRI guy (I think his name was Rob or something, but he didn't tell me and I didn't ask - I saw it on his tag - he was super nice. . . Sarcasm here. . . ) tells me to change into the gowns and pants, put my stuff in the locker and he'll come and get me. So, here I am in hospital garb (it's freakin' cold) in a hallway with other people in hospital beds (some moaning). . . I'm feeling really warm and fuzzy.
Finally, about 30 minutes AFTER I was supposed to start, the nice MRI guy comes and gets me. They put me on the MRI table (which I am intimately familiar with since my burst disc) and THEN ask me if I'm claustrophobic (now they ask me?). When I say no, he gives me some earplugs, puts this cage over my face, then really shoves in some cloths next to my neck to not make it move. I finally ask, "so. . . When do we do the shot?" He tells me that the shot doesn't happen until after they've done the first part of the MRI (okay - maybe it should have been clear that there would be two parts. . . I have to work people. . . ).
The MRI goes off without a hitch (except the sound makes me think the whole machine is going to blow up it's so loud). It took about 40 minutes. Then they slide me out and say, we're going to do the dye now.
Sidebar - I am not particularly squeamish as I said before, but when dealing with shots, needles, injections, and the like, I NEED to see the needle go in or at least know when the needle goes in or I kinda freak out. How you ask? Well, when I was getting an arteriogram way back in the day, they told me all the times they stuck me with stuff, but forgot to tell me when they were going to insert the tube. All I have to say is there was this tunnel. . . Lots of beeping. . . People yelling. . . Wash cloth and slapping occurred. . . I came back - basically I fainted and they didn't like that - so you NEED TO TELL ME WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO STICK ME!
Okay, sidebar over. I'm in this CAGE and CAN'T move AND they're going to stick a needle in me. I explain to the nurse (who doesn't introduce herself and I can only see her hair by virtue of the little mirror in front of my face on this cage. She tells me when she does it, but then proceeds to "dig" around in my vein. Then the coolness starts. . . It actually wasn't so bad, but kind of disconcerting. I'll tell you now, I had a bruise on my arm that made me look like a heroin addict for about a week and half. . . Nice handy work nurse.
Here's the Relief part (well part of the relief). I went to see Dr. Lily the following week and she showed me that I have a SERIOUSLY pinched nerve in my neck that is causing my pain, numbness, swelling. . . I am OVER JOYED at this news!!!!!!!!!
Why would I be overjoyed that I have a pinched nerve and it causes me pain? Perhaps it's because for the previous FIVE years, I've been told I most likely have AND treated for Fibromyalgia. If you know anything about Fibromyalgia. . . It's not pleasant. It's a "disease" that many don't believe exists AND it is debilitating and can get worse as you get older AND you have to be on medication for the rest of your life. Basically, something totally awesome - it made me sad and worried all the time.
BUT NO - I have a pinched nerve. Can you believe it!? I am so happy.
I was scheduled for cortisone injections the very next week.
Okay - joy on hold for a moment - cortisone kinda worked for my disc - it's arthritic now and generally unpleasant - I work out so I can continue to move and walk - but there are the bad days. Cortisone is to help swelling go down. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. But let me tell you, after FIVE years, I'm willing to do ANYTHING (shark piss up my nose anyone?).
The shot experience was MUCH more pleasant. Debra was my nurse (she introduced herself). Lynn was my nurse that administered my sedatives (love her for that) and Amy was my technician (they live x-ray you so they don't paralyze you when they're sticking needles in your spine - nice of them - very considerate. I'm loving Amy).
Mikal came to pick me up and pretty much laughed at my sedatived butt (or neck or whatever, I don't remember and don't care, because I was feeling pretty good). But very sweet and took care of me while I was recovering (not that long. . . Just a couple of hours).
Since I couldn't eat all day and my procedure was at 2pm, I was STARVING - and Mikal was super kind and got me my favorite (Chicken Tikka Masala from AnnaPurna). Gotta love it when you get your favorite food out of a deal and someone as wonderful as Mikal serves it up for you!
The sedative wore off, the numbing of the injection site wore off - I was sore. That's what all the "one-toothed vampire" posts came from. I have a picture, but will post it later.
Then for about four days I felt GREAT! I mean, no pain, no numbness. People at work noticed how much happier I was. Then it started to wear off. But that's okay. I mean, it's not nearly as bad and I have physical therapy with Randy (the best physical therapist on earth) to give my neck traction (if you haven't had it, you should try it - it feels AWESOME!). So, I'm optimistic. We will see though.
The relief is twofold. Number 1) I DO NOT HAVE FIBROMYALGIA. . . Can you believe how FABULOUS that feels to say that. At least I know what the problem is now and can attack it and try to get it fixed. There are so many options right now I don't even know what to tell you! And Number 2) I feel better. Let me say that again. . . I feel better. Even if these shots to solve everything - I know what "pain free" can feel like.
It's awesome.
WELL! Three weeks ago I went to this GREAT neurologist, Dr. Lily Jung. She told me she thought I had some neck problems just from doing some reflex tests, so she ordered this MRI for my neck. I've never had that done before and if you have, it's a bit interesting if you don't like small spaces.
The MRI was scheduled for 7am, which meant I had to be there at 6:30 to fill out all the "I don't have metal in my head or neck' paperwork. Firstly, I check into the regular medical place and they say, go to "so and so" place. So, I go down this hallway, and I see all these huge x-ray machines and no counter, no check-in, just a bunch of dudes hanging around in scrubs by a couple of hospital tables. . .Very reassuring, I tell you.
I finally get the attention of one guy and he takes my paperwork and he's like "oh - we're doing a neck MRI with contrast". With Contrast? What is that? Apparently, it's an MRI with fluid that can be detected by the machines shot up in your arm. I'm not squeamish or anything, so I'm not that upset about it (yet).
The MRI guy (I think his name was Rob or something, but he didn't tell me and I didn't ask - I saw it on his tag - he was super nice. . . Sarcasm here. . . ) tells me to change into the gowns and pants, put my stuff in the locker and he'll come and get me. So, here I am in hospital garb (it's freakin' cold) in a hallway with other people in hospital beds (some moaning). . . I'm feeling really warm and fuzzy.
Finally, about 30 minutes AFTER I was supposed to start, the nice MRI guy comes and gets me. They put me on the MRI table (which I am intimately familiar with since my burst disc) and THEN ask me if I'm claustrophobic (now they ask me?). When I say no, he gives me some earplugs, puts this cage over my face, then really shoves in some cloths next to my neck to not make it move. I finally ask, "so. . . When do we do the shot?" He tells me that the shot doesn't happen until after they've done the first part of the MRI (okay - maybe it should have been clear that there would be two parts. . . I have to work people. . . ).
The MRI goes off without a hitch (except the sound makes me think the whole machine is going to blow up it's so loud). It took about 40 minutes. Then they slide me out and say, we're going to do the dye now.
Sidebar - I am not particularly squeamish as I said before, but when dealing with shots, needles, injections, and the like, I NEED to see the needle go in or at least know when the needle goes in or I kinda freak out. How you ask? Well, when I was getting an arteriogram way back in the day, they told me all the times they stuck me with stuff, but forgot to tell me when they were going to insert the tube. All I have to say is there was this tunnel. . . Lots of beeping. . . People yelling. . . Wash cloth and slapping occurred. . . I came back - basically I fainted and they didn't like that - so you NEED TO TELL ME WHEN YOU ARE GOING TO STICK ME!
Okay, sidebar over. I'm in this CAGE and CAN'T move AND they're going to stick a needle in me. I explain to the nurse (who doesn't introduce herself and I can only see her hair by virtue of the little mirror in front of my face on this cage. She tells me when she does it, but then proceeds to "dig" around in my vein. Then the coolness starts. . . It actually wasn't so bad, but kind of disconcerting. I'll tell you now, I had a bruise on my arm that made me look like a heroin addict for about a week and half. . . Nice handy work nurse.
Here's the Relief part (well part of the relief). I went to see Dr. Lily the following week and she showed me that I have a SERIOUSLY pinched nerve in my neck that is causing my pain, numbness, swelling. . . I am OVER JOYED at this news!!!!!!!!!
Why would I be overjoyed that I have a pinched nerve and it causes me pain? Perhaps it's because for the previous FIVE years, I've been told I most likely have AND treated for Fibromyalgia. If you know anything about Fibromyalgia. . . It's not pleasant. It's a "disease" that many don't believe exists AND it is debilitating and can get worse as you get older AND you have to be on medication for the rest of your life. Basically, something totally awesome - it made me sad and worried all the time.
BUT NO - I have a pinched nerve. Can you believe it!? I am so happy.
I was scheduled for cortisone injections the very next week.
Okay - joy on hold for a moment - cortisone kinda worked for my disc - it's arthritic now and generally unpleasant - I work out so I can continue to move and walk - but there are the bad days. Cortisone is to help swelling go down. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t. But let me tell you, after FIVE years, I'm willing to do ANYTHING (shark piss up my nose anyone?).
The shot experience was MUCH more pleasant. Debra was my nurse (she introduced herself). Lynn was my nurse that administered my sedatives (love her for that) and Amy was my technician (they live x-ray you so they don't paralyze you when they're sticking needles in your spine - nice of them - very considerate. I'm loving Amy).
Mikal came to pick me up and pretty much laughed at my sedatived butt (or neck or whatever, I don't remember and don't care, because I was feeling pretty good). But very sweet and took care of me while I was recovering (not that long. . . Just a couple of hours).
Since I couldn't eat all day and my procedure was at 2pm, I was STARVING - and Mikal was super kind and got me my favorite (Chicken Tikka Masala from AnnaPurna). Gotta love it when you get your favorite food out of a deal and someone as wonderful as Mikal serves it up for you!
The sedative wore off, the numbing of the injection site wore off - I was sore. That's what all the "one-toothed vampire" posts came from. I have a picture, but will post it later.
Then for about four days I felt GREAT! I mean, no pain, no numbness. People at work noticed how much happier I was. Then it started to wear off. But that's okay. I mean, it's not nearly as bad and I have physical therapy with Randy (the best physical therapist on earth) to give my neck traction (if you haven't had it, you should try it - it feels AWESOME!). So, I'm optimistic. We will see though.
The relief is twofold. Number 1) I DO NOT HAVE FIBROMYALGIA. . . Can you believe how FABULOUS that feels to say that. At least I know what the problem is now and can attack it and try to get it fixed. There are so many options right now I don't even know what to tell you! And Number 2) I feel better. Let me say that again. . . I feel better. Even if these shots to solve everything - I know what "pain free" can feel like.
It's awesome.
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
First Endeavor to scope out the "Best Of" from the Seattle weekly 2009. . . I'm going with maybe
my first endeavor on the "best of" tour. Best seafood it says. I think I might go with best stripped bass, but not really best anything else. Well, maybe best wall design, but more on that later. Mikal and I walked into Anchovies and Olives around 6:30pm on a Saturday. It wasn't very busy and we were seated right away in a the very small corner behind the door. It was actually pretty intimate for us. The back wall was bench seating, so technically we were sitting right next to another couple with just a small enough opening for the waiter to stand in when he came to take our order. don't get me wrong, I really did like the area. I sat in the booth type seating and Mikal took the seat across from me. He was staring right into a mirror image of himself. He found this very annoying. But we did think the wall design was very cool.
Decor
The wall had sort of an Asian feel. But not completely. There were 6 inch wide strips of paneling-type dark wood and they were weaved in and out over about 2 inch light wood dowels. The dowels were not straight either, they were at odd angles which gave the room a kind of interesting look. The rest of the scene was pretty modern.
the kitchen is directly in front of the door and looks like a giant square. It has exposed hoods and large wood counters where there are three or four chefs cooking at a leisurely pace (as I mentioned, it wasn't that busy).
Service
Our waiter, and for the sake of what I'm going to say next, I won't tell you his name, came over and was very nice to me and when he turned to Mikal, TOTALLY checked him out from top to bottom (and we were sitting). We're on the hill people, and let's face it, Mikal's always getting checked out by the boys. What can I say, he's cute.
We had only been sitting there a few moments when he came over and we barely had time to look at the menu. Despite this, the waiter asked if he could get us some drinks. We told him we wanted to get a bottle of wine, but hadn't looked yet. That's when he really started to swing into action (it was a bit akwardo before this).
He told us that everything is served family style. And gave us some recommendations. I asked about the pasta because they were names I really had never heard of before. Like, Bigoli, which is a long tube made out of buckwheat. Well, I didn't want buckwheat. So, I decided to look more. Our waiter went on his way and Mikal and I took more looks at the menu.
What we ordered
We decided we were going to have two entrees and an appetizer with some wine.
I ordered the Malloredus (a pasta made with semolina flour and water) Clams, Green Beans, Spinach, Zucchini Pesto for $17 and Mikal got the striped bass (no description on the website and I can't remember how much - about the samish price as mine). We both ordered the Columbia City Bakery Focaccia Bread with Arbequina Olive, Sicilian Olive Oil for $2 and the Heirloom Tomatoes Marinated Mussels, White Corn, Arugula for $13
The wine list was a bit over priced for sure. Most of the wine was about $50 per bottle. There were only a few under that and least expensive bottle was probably something like $35. . . We ordered something about $40. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't fabulous. Our opinion (and it is ours as we agreed on it, the wine was very over priced and not that fabulous - they should have several selections under $35).
Did we like it?
The bread came and of course Mikal at most of it (if you saw his size and knew how fast he burns calories, you would not object). It was actually really good. The consistency and the taste was really inviting. I had high hopes for the rest.
When the heirloom tomatoes came, I was disappointed before I even put anything on my fork. They had a bunch of onions on top of the tomatoes. It didn't mention them in the menu so I didn't expect them. If you know anything about me, you'll know onions in their raw form do NOT like me at all. So, the tomatoes tasted like tomatoes and were good, but they also had that horrible raw onion taste I don't like. The SAUCE, though, was FABULOUS. The mussels and the tomatoes and the sauce together was really really good. It was something the waiter had recommended because of the sauce. Kudos on that, but I would have preferred them without the onions.
So, I did ask what kind of pasta the Mallordeus was (and it's misspelled on the menu) and I didn't think it would be bad. But the whole dish was pretty tasteless. I added salt and pepper, but meh. . . Wasn't that good. The bass, on the other hand, was PHENOMINAL! I loved it. Mikal, again has a, rightfully so, large appetite and at these restaurants you don't get large portions. So, I wanted him to eat the dish he had ordered. But alas, he likes to feed me and kept feeding me more and more bass. It was DELISH! So, kudos to the chef who created that little gem.
We decided not get dessert, mostly because we were disappointed in the one dish with the clams (and yes, I ate all the clams. . .still no taste). The waiter did offer me a different kind of pasta, but I wasn't in the mood. He didn't take it off the bill, but at least he did offer to have me try something else. They weren't offended by me saying I didn't like something, so that was good.
The Recommendation
Overall, I would say, the bass was good, but the other kind of seafood, not so good. Point being, if you're looking for the Best Seafood in Seattle, I'm not sure this is the place. I would say, so far, it's the best place in Seattle to get Striped Bass (and probably other fish too).
Let me know if you go! I'd love to hear your opinion
Tuesday, August 04, 2009
The Best of Seattle
On Sundays, when required, I go to a local java hut and read either the paper (though not my first choice), a book, or try to do a crossword puzzle (and I assure you this one only takes about three minutes since I NEVER get anything on the Sunday crossword puzzles). This last Sunday, I was at my local Starbucks (amazingly, I really only have one near me) reading the Seattle Weekly. I don't normally read the Seattle Weekly. I'm not sure why - I think I have a bias that was seeded long ago when I was trying to move here to Seattle and the only "book" that I could find on the city was done by the Stranger. So, I don't normally read the Seattle Weekly.
That aside, I was really amused with the short "articles" about "the best of" whatever the paper had asked the public to weigh in on. So much so, that yesterday I started cutting out some of these articles so that I could put them in my notebook and try some of these things to really see if they were "the best of" anything. I have done or gone to some of these things so I didn't cut them all out, but the pile actually got pretty big.
Today, I decided that I would put them in my notebook and try to do or try as many of these things as I could within the next year or two and within my budget. Then I thought I'd share with all of you whether or not these things are "the best of" what kp thinks is the best.
Seattle has so much to offer and often times I really don't go outside of downtown or Capitol Hill. Here's my chance. I also hope I can take some of you with me and perhaps share some of my city with you. Maybe it will make some of you want to come and visit me.
love all of you,
love me.
That aside, I was really amused with the short "articles" about "the best of" whatever the paper had asked the public to weigh in on. So much so, that yesterday I started cutting out some of these articles so that I could put them in my notebook and try some of these things to really see if they were "the best of" anything. I have done or gone to some of these things so I didn't cut them all out, but the pile actually got pretty big.
Today, I decided that I would put them in my notebook and try to do or try as many of these things as I could within the next year or two and within my budget. Then I thought I'd share with all of you whether or not these things are "the best of" what kp thinks is the best.
Seattle has so much to offer and often times I really don't go outside of downtown or Capitol Hill. Here's my chance. I also hope I can take some of you with me and perhaps share some of my city with you. Maybe it will make some of you want to come and visit me.
love all of you,
love me.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Gosh - has it really been that long?
I guess it has. I know, I'm a terrible liar (Shakira anyone?). At anyrate, I know I haven't been the best blogger in the intertubes, but I really was busy for a time. I mean, I finally finished doing theater in March and decided to take a break. It's been an interesting time. But I guess I haven't really told you about all that's happened since my last post. Or even before then!!!
Let's see, I'm looking at my pictures and the blog and trying to figure out what I've told you and what I've left out. . . it's a daunting task if you know how many pictures I take. And even more daunting when you know how many pictures I haven't posted.
I'm at work right now on my lunch break and only have about two minutes left, so I think I'll just leave it at "I've been itching to write". So, I think some posts are forth coming.
I know, I know - no promises this time. But I do like to write it all out.
besos to you all (as Ciara would say!).
Let's see, I'm looking at my pictures and the blog and trying to figure out what I've told you and what I've left out. . . it's a daunting task if you know how many pictures I take. And even more daunting when you know how many pictures I haven't posted.
I'm at work right now on my lunch break and only have about two minutes left, so I think I'll just leave it at "I've been itching to write". So, I think some posts are forth coming.
I know, I know - no promises this time. But I do like to write it all out.
besos to you all (as Ciara would say!).
Sunday, February 01, 2009
An overwhelming and heartfelt thank you
I am humbled by the response to my last post. I also want to assure everyone that I am good (though that word doesn't even come close to the feelings I am having today) and haven't felt this good in a long time. Writing this made me release it out into the wild and no longer hold on to it, letting it fester and eat me alive. It's a piece of freedom to me.
I am afraid to post more for fear that all will think I am terribly sad. I am sad I don't get to have Alistair anymore. However, if I write how this all went, I will be a much more peaceful person. I love sharing it with all of you because I have been INCREDIBLY blessed to have all of you in my life helping me through this.
I think you deserve to know it all. Some of you have heard bits and pieces of this and I'm not really sure how to present it in a coherent manner. I don't want to post only the sad parts of my life over the last year and four months, I want to share the great things too. The memories, the revelations, the difficulties. It's a bit of my therapy. The world is opening up to me in a way I never imagined or thought was possible and sharing each of these things opens it a bit wider.
Alistair and I always loved adventures. Even little adventures and so this experience is just another adventure. Some of it is wonderful, some of it is completely mundane, some of it is very sad and scary, and some of it is things I am not proud of. But all of it is me, all of it is true, and all of it is freedom. Freedom to be sad, freedom to be happy, freedom to dream, freedom to remember, and freedom to be open to the next adventures.
I love your support, feedback, comments, and I want you to continue to do so. But just to repeat and be clear - this is my therapy and it is my gift to you so you all have the whole story and not just the pieces I felt okay to share with individuals. Please don't be sad, please don't be burdened, please just share in my journey to the freedom of the next adventure.
gosh - that was a bit preachy. okay - done with preachy. Love you all, thank you all and I hope in any small way, it touches you to hold what you love close, always say I love you and often, and to know it's okay to let things go.
hasta la pasta - my next post? my blind date with genius.
I am afraid to post more for fear that all will think I am terribly sad. I am sad I don't get to have Alistair anymore. However, if I write how this all went, I will be a much more peaceful person. I love sharing it with all of you because I have been INCREDIBLY blessed to have all of you in my life helping me through this.
I think you deserve to know it all. Some of you have heard bits and pieces of this and I'm not really sure how to present it in a coherent manner. I don't want to post only the sad parts of my life over the last year and four months, I want to share the great things too. The memories, the revelations, the difficulties. It's a bit of my therapy. The world is opening up to me in a way I never imagined or thought was possible and sharing each of these things opens it a bit wider.
Alistair and I always loved adventures. Even little adventures and so this experience is just another adventure. Some of it is wonderful, some of it is completely mundane, some of it is very sad and scary, and some of it is things I am not proud of. But all of it is me, all of it is true, and all of it is freedom. Freedom to be sad, freedom to be happy, freedom to dream, freedom to remember, and freedom to be open to the next adventures.
I love your support, feedback, comments, and I want you to continue to do so. But just to repeat and be clear - this is my therapy and it is my gift to you so you all have the whole story and not just the pieces I felt okay to share with individuals. Please don't be sad, please don't be burdened, please just share in my journey to the freedom of the next adventure.
gosh - that was a bit preachy. okay - done with preachy. Love you all, thank you all and I hope in any small way, it touches you to hold what you love close, always say I love you and often, and to know it's okay to let things go.
hasta la pasta - my next post? my blind date with genius.
When a bus ride changes your life
I was married for almost 6 years. Then I wasn't anymore. An unwilling widow. One voice mail, one bus ride, one phrase, "he can't honey, he can't" and my life changed.
In case you don't know how I met Alistair, it was on a blind date. I knew that night I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with this man. I married him exactly one year to the day that I met him - April Fool's Day. It was just right. In the same way I knew I wanted to marry him, I knew he wasn't with me anymore.
September 7, 2007 I was riding the 15 down to the car dealership. I was really excited because I was going to be signing the papers for the new silver volkswagen jetta and starting on my way to Montana to drop it off for my husband, Alistair, where he was finishing his PhD. He was so excited. It was finally a car he had picked out and it was the right color, the right car, the right everything. He always felt he never got the right anything. So it was a big deal in our life.
The bus was packed with standing room only and I had been lucky to get a seat near the back of the bus. My phone vibrated, screaming to tell me I had missed a voice mail. I hate voice mail, so ordinarily, I wouldn't have checked it, but I had been trying to call Alistair all day. I wanted to tell him I was on my way to get the car since the last thing I told him the previous day was that I would call him when I was on my way. I figured I had missed his call while I was in the elevator at work (it happens with really bad reception and thick earthquake proof walls). So although HE hated LEAVING voice mails, I had left him several that day and I thought perhaps he had at last graced me with his voice.
It wasn't unusual to not hear from him on a Friday. He had school: teaching, seminar, classes, pizza with "the group". So, when the voice mail turned out to be from his professor, panic set in, though I didn't really need to know much more.
When I heard Mike's voice, Alistair's professor, asking me if Alistair was home with me, I already knew my life had changed. My whole body had this horrible aware sensation. Every nerve ending felt alive, but only in a survival way like having been suddenly awakened out of horrific nightmare when you aren't really sure if the dream was real or not. I knew why I felt that way, but I was avoiding the reality, even in those first few moments. There is always a chance that I could be wrong. Even though I knew my husband, even though I knew how he lived, and even though I knew how he played with his life, still, I wanted to believe there was a chance. Never in my life did I want to be wrong more than in this moment.
A poor young man on the bus must have realized my distress since he bent over and stopped me from rocking in my seat and asked so very gently, "can I help you?". All I wanted was to get off the bus. I think I kept repeating that, "i just need to get off this bus, i just need to get off this bus." It was hard to breath and hard to see and I was very warm. There isn't much to remember from then until the phrase, though I know hours went by.
I do know I called two people. Ciara and then Derek. First Ciara - and in fact, I don't remember if I called her and then Gus or vice versa, but I talked to one of them and said something like, "something is very wrong and I need you to pick me up from the dealership." They were in the UDistrict getting groceries. But one of them said, "we'll be there."
Then I called Derek - I told him I knew Alistair was dead. Derek told me that I was over-reacting (and he was right to say that then). I just knew it. I just felt it. Nothing was more clear to me than that during that walk from the bus to the dealership. Bless Derek for his talk with me all the way to the dealership. I don't remember really what we talked about, but only that he was reassuring.
When I got to the dealership, John, the guy who sold us the car, came up to me and said, "ah. . . we had some problems with the paperwork." You see, he was trying to be funny. We had to have the papers fly all around the country to get the proper signatures and stuff. But right away he saw that I was in distress. I said, "I'm having a personal crisis right now and my phone is running out of charge. Can you find me a charger for a razor?" He went right away to find one. I don't remember seeing him until Ciara and Gus got there. They talked to him and then took me home, to their home.
Like I said, I think hours went by. Gus made me dress in some sweats. Ciara made me drink some beer (I think I needed a shot, but beer was good to start).
I hadn't heard from Mike after speaking with him on the phone on the bus. He asked permission to have the door knocked down to see if Alistair was in there. I gave it. I needed to know.
When I called back and Mike's wife Donna answered. I'm not sure how long she was on the phone with me but it felt like forever. Hours after I had spoken to Mike, hours after I had given him permission to have the police knock down the door, hours after I had called Alistair's parents, hours after I had called my best friend to come and pick me up from the dealership, hours after she and her husband kept telling me that I couldn't be certain since no one had seen him - sure there was another answer. Hours after I already knew what no one could tell me yet. Hours after; Donna was giving me a blow by blow (and yes, it felt like a blow by blow) on what was happening. "Ok, Mike's at the door with the police. Mike's in with the officers. They're still in there. Mike's on his way out. He's walking towards me."
"Donna, please can he tell me?"
". . .he can't honey, he can't. . . "
And I was falling. . . .
falling. . .
That tie I had felt on the first night was the same tie that told me he had left me. Something he had promised not to do
ever
yet here I was.
alone.
no more tie.
floating out in the blackness
alone.
In case you don't know how I met Alistair, it was on a blind date. I knew that night I wanted to marry him and spend the rest of my life with this man. I married him exactly one year to the day that I met him - April Fool's Day. It was just right. In the same way I knew I wanted to marry him, I knew he wasn't with me anymore.
September 7, 2007 I was riding the 15 down to the car dealership. I was really excited because I was going to be signing the papers for the new silver volkswagen jetta and starting on my way to Montana to drop it off for my husband, Alistair, where he was finishing his PhD. He was so excited. It was finally a car he had picked out and it was the right color, the right car, the right everything. He always felt he never got the right anything. So it was a big deal in our life.
The bus was packed with standing room only and I had been lucky to get a seat near the back of the bus. My phone vibrated, screaming to tell me I had missed a voice mail. I hate voice mail, so ordinarily, I wouldn't have checked it, but I had been trying to call Alistair all day. I wanted to tell him I was on my way to get the car since the last thing I told him the previous day was that I would call him when I was on my way. I figured I had missed his call while I was in the elevator at work (it happens with really bad reception and thick earthquake proof walls). So although HE hated LEAVING voice mails, I had left him several that day and I thought perhaps he had at last graced me with his voice.
It wasn't unusual to not hear from him on a Friday. He had school: teaching, seminar, classes, pizza with "the group". So, when the voice mail turned out to be from his professor, panic set in, though I didn't really need to know much more.
When I heard Mike's voice, Alistair's professor, asking me if Alistair was home with me, I already knew my life had changed. My whole body had this horrible aware sensation. Every nerve ending felt alive, but only in a survival way like having been suddenly awakened out of horrific nightmare when you aren't really sure if the dream was real or not. I knew why I felt that way, but I was avoiding the reality, even in those first few moments. There is always a chance that I could be wrong. Even though I knew my husband, even though I knew how he lived, and even though I knew how he played with his life, still, I wanted to believe there was a chance. Never in my life did I want to be wrong more than in this moment.
A poor young man on the bus must have realized my distress since he bent over and stopped me from rocking in my seat and asked so very gently, "can I help you?". All I wanted was to get off the bus. I think I kept repeating that, "i just need to get off this bus, i just need to get off this bus." It was hard to breath and hard to see and I was very warm. There isn't much to remember from then until the phrase, though I know hours went by.
I do know I called two people. Ciara and then Derek. First Ciara - and in fact, I don't remember if I called her and then Gus or vice versa, but I talked to one of them and said something like, "something is very wrong and I need you to pick me up from the dealership." They were in the UDistrict getting groceries. But one of them said, "we'll be there."
Then I called Derek - I told him I knew Alistair was dead. Derek told me that I was over-reacting (and he was right to say that then). I just knew it. I just felt it. Nothing was more clear to me than that during that walk from the bus to the dealership. Bless Derek for his talk with me all the way to the dealership. I don't remember really what we talked about, but only that he was reassuring.
When I got to the dealership, John, the guy who sold us the car, came up to me and said, "ah. . . we had some problems with the paperwork." You see, he was trying to be funny. We had to have the papers fly all around the country to get the proper signatures and stuff. But right away he saw that I was in distress. I said, "I'm having a personal crisis right now and my phone is running out of charge. Can you find me a charger for a razor?" He went right away to find one. I don't remember seeing him until Ciara and Gus got there. They talked to him and then took me home, to their home.
Like I said, I think hours went by. Gus made me dress in some sweats. Ciara made me drink some beer (I think I needed a shot, but beer was good to start).
I hadn't heard from Mike after speaking with him on the phone on the bus. He asked permission to have the door knocked down to see if Alistair was in there. I gave it. I needed to know.
When I called back and Mike's wife Donna answered. I'm not sure how long she was on the phone with me but it felt like forever. Hours after I had spoken to Mike, hours after I had given him permission to have the police knock down the door, hours after I had called Alistair's parents, hours after I had called my best friend to come and pick me up from the dealership, hours after she and her husband kept telling me that I couldn't be certain since no one had seen him - sure there was another answer. Hours after I already knew what no one could tell me yet. Hours after; Donna was giving me a blow by blow (and yes, it felt like a blow by blow) on what was happening. "Ok, Mike's at the door with the police. Mike's in with the officers. They're still in there. Mike's on his way out. He's walking towards me."
"Donna, please can he tell me?"
". . .he can't honey, he can't. . . "
And I was falling. . . .
falling. . .
That tie I had felt on the first night was the same tie that told me he had left me. Something he had promised not to do
ever
yet here I was.
alone.
no more tie.
floating out in the blackness
alone.
Three whole different people
So, I was looking at the last three posts I put out there and it seems like three different people. There is no context, no transition, no sense to the flow of time.
But is that really that surprising?
So, here is context to the time of flow. The Mariners win, Less than three weeks later, Alistair died. More than a year passed while I was trying to deal with Alistair dying. I spent most of it doing theater because it was something that kept me REALLY busy and where I felt needed, so the post after the "memorial" post (gawd, that sounds awful, but I can't think of another thing to call it), is the post about all my theater stuff. I have done so much in the last year in trying to heal. It really is three different people.
I suppose, if you know me, and you read my blog, you would probably put those pieces together, but those that don't, probably don't get it. I feel like I need to pick up from the Mariners game to really have anyone understand what I've been through. Though, I'm not sure I actually want to do that for others to understand. I want to do it for me. Every time I write about something, I feel better. And I want everyone to know how much I truly appreciate them for what they've done and how they've been there for me.
I know, I know, it's just another empty promise to keep posting, right? Maybe, but I figure, if I say it out loud, it's either TRUE or I'll have to make it true. I hate disappointing other people, so if some of you could keep me honest, that would be great. Though, you've all done so much for me already, I don't really get to ask anymore. I've dipped into the bank enough times over the last year and a half, I would understand if any of you thought I had over drawn a bit.
Next time, I want to tell you what it's like to have your life change on a bus.
But is that really that surprising?
So, here is context to the time of flow. The Mariners win, Less than three weeks later, Alistair died. More than a year passed while I was trying to deal with Alistair dying. I spent most of it doing theater because it was something that kept me REALLY busy and where I felt needed, so the post after the "memorial" post (gawd, that sounds awful, but I can't think of another thing to call it), is the post about all my theater stuff. I have done so much in the last year in trying to heal. It really is three different people.
I suppose, if you know me, and you read my blog, you would probably put those pieces together, but those that don't, probably don't get it. I feel like I need to pick up from the Mariners game to really have anyone understand what I've been through. Though, I'm not sure I actually want to do that for others to understand. I want to do it for me. Every time I write about something, I feel better. And I want everyone to know how much I truly appreciate them for what they've done and how they've been there for me.
I know, I know, it's just another empty promise to keep posting, right? Maybe, but I figure, if I say it out loud, it's either TRUE or I'll have to make it true. I hate disappointing other people, so if some of you could keep me honest, that would be great. Though, you've all done so much for me already, I don't really get to ask anymore. I've dipped into the bank enough times over the last year and a half, I would understand if any of you thought I had over drawn a bit.
Next time, I want to tell you what it's like to have your life change on a bus.
Sunday, October 26, 2008
BusyNESS
So, after last weekend of a FABuLOUS last run of Psyche, I decided, that wasn't enough. I spent the weekend doing some great shows at the Chapel at the Good Shepherd Center.
Here are some things about what I've been up to:
For the summer, I worked on the Opera you've all heard about. Here some video of it in the park. You can actually see me in th first few minutes. I walk past the "sister" (to the right). I'm all in black.
Psyche at Cal Anderson Park
Then we did it again at the Chapel in the Good Shepherd Center. Garrett (the composer) did an interview on the radio. You can listen to it below.
Garrett Fisher interview
Ben Black (eros), took a bunch of pictures of all the people that worked on it.
All the great people of Psyche
This last weekend, I helped out some of the people I met doing Psyche to do some other really cool things. Three winds was a show with Dean Moore, a percussionist. He did some great Gong work.
Three Winds
Here's his website: DeanMooreDrums
The next night, I did another show
!!ArtsLaunch!!
Then Sunday I cleaned the floor. It's a ritual!
I get the week off! Then I start the crazy road to New York City!
Here are some things about what I've been up to:
For the summer, I worked on the Opera you've all heard about. Here some video of it in the park. You can actually see me in th first few minutes. I walk past the "sister" (to the right). I'm all in black.
Psyche at Cal Anderson Park
Then we did it again at the Chapel in the Good Shepherd Center. Garrett (the composer) did an interview on the radio. You can listen to it below.
Garrett Fisher interview
Ben Black (eros), took a bunch of pictures of all the people that worked on it.
All the great people of Psyche
This last weekend, I helped out some of the people I met doing Psyche to do some other really cool things. Three winds was a show with Dean Moore, a percussionist. He did some great Gong work.
Three Winds
Here's his website: DeanMooreDrums
The next night, I did another show
!!ArtsLaunch!!
Then Sunday I cleaned the floor. It's a ritual!
I get the week off! Then I start the crazy road to New York City!
Sunday, August 31, 2008
“Genius might be the ability to say a profound thing in a simple way.”
Charles Bukowski - one of Alistair's favorite authors.
Of course he was right - Alistair could say almost anything so you understood it. Genius - wonderful - chaos - love - beautiful
It will be one whole year in 6 days that we lost the most brilliant beautiful young boy. I could write all the things I think all the time about him. But if you knew him, you think those things too. He would not have wanted a bunch of sappy or happy things, but I feel the need to share with all of you my loss (and your loss too).
Here are some pictures that absolutely tell part of his story. They are actually the last pictures I have of my most beloved husband.
He loved CJ - and now he and CJ are together. Because not more than 6 months later, CJ decided he missed Alistair and needed to go and hang out. I miss them both. But I love these pictures because they remind me of really good times.
There is much to tell in what went on in the last 365 days. However, I think it'll come slowly. Thank you everyone for the patience you have already given me. I want to keep you all updated on the Ramsdale escapades. Alistair wouldn't want me to stop. So, I won't. But like I said, it'll come slowly.
Much love to everyone who have been SO supportive and have created this great family for me. I love you all and I thank you all. There are actually no adequate words to express my gratitude for your love, patience, kindness, gifts, and support. You have saved me from myself and for that Alistair would be grateful as well. He always wanted me to be great and I think I could be because of all of you.
This time coming up is actually pretty hard. But I do have to say, it's the last "first". At least I know what to expect now for the upcoming year. It's hard and I miss him. I'll keep you all posted on my journey through this.
again, love you, love me.
Of course he was right - Alistair could say almost anything so you understood it. Genius - wonderful - chaos - love - beautiful
It will be one whole year in 6 days that we lost the most brilliant beautiful young boy. I could write all the things I think all the time about him. But if you knew him, you think those things too. He would not have wanted a bunch of sappy or happy things, but I feel the need to share with all of you my loss (and your loss too).
Here are some pictures that absolutely tell part of his story. They are actually the last pictures I have of my most beloved husband.
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| a boy and his cat |
He loved CJ - and now he and CJ are together. Because not more than 6 months later, CJ decided he missed Alistair and needed to go and hang out. I miss them both. But I love these pictures because they remind me of really good times.
There is much to tell in what went on in the last 365 days. However, I think it'll come slowly. Thank you everyone for the patience you have already given me. I want to keep you all updated on the Ramsdale escapades. Alistair wouldn't want me to stop. So, I won't. But like I said, it'll come slowly.
Much love to everyone who have been SO supportive and have created this great family for me. I love you all and I thank you all. There are actually no adequate words to express my gratitude for your love, patience, kindness, gifts, and support. You have saved me from myself and for that Alistair would be grateful as well. He always wanted me to be great and I think I could be because of all of you.
This time coming up is actually pretty hard. But I do have to say, it's the last "first". At least I know what to expect now for the upcoming year. It's hard and I miss him. I'll keep you all posted on my journey through this.
again, love you, love me.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Mariners WIN!!!
We went to the game today - it's was really fun. See some pictures!
It was quite interesting with some folks around us. The family in front had a 14 year girl with flaming red (not natural red, but some goth red) hairdo. She was outfitted with the fishnet leggings AND gloves. It was weird - but she enjoyed he game.
The lady next me was in from San Jose to visit her son. They told me that I should take Hannah and Laura on the Ducks of Seattle trip. I think I'm going to take them - it sounds fun!
We walked at least three miles today AND I got Alistair to ride the bus. Can you believe it??? I can hardly. The last three pictures above show him on a bus. You have to look carefully, but you can see the floor and part of the door - plus his sour look gives it away.
Anyway - fun was had by both. Love you, love me!
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| Seattle Mariners vs. Chicago White Sox |
It was quite interesting with some folks around us. The family in front had a 14 year girl with flaming red (not natural red, but some goth red) hairdo. She was outfitted with the fishnet leggings AND gloves. It was weird - but she enjoyed he game.
The lady next me was in from San Jose to visit her son. They told me that I should take Hannah and Laura on the Ducks of Seattle trip. I think I'm going to take them - it sounds fun!
We walked at least three miles today AND I got Alistair to ride the bus. Can you believe it??? I can hardly. The last three pictures above show him on a bus. You have to look carefully, but you can see the floor and part of the door - plus his sour look gives it away.
Anyway - fun was had by both. Love you, love me!
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Getting Serious
So, I've recently signed up on facebook as most of you probably already found out (unfortunately). I didn't know what I was doing, so I guess a bunch of you got emails. I apologize with my whole heart for doing such and evil thing. Though, if you think of it - join me. Not sure why yet, but perhaps it'll turn out to be cool. I am a bit concerned because Google has this thing called Orkut which is like myspace or this facebook. . .I'll have to check that out. I'll try really hard NOT to send you spam.
Other than that, Alistair is home, so I'll have plenty to discuss with you all in the upcoming days. I do want to say that I've gotten rid of my cable, joined netflix and have found a new love for the internet. So, I'll be posting more often. Yeah, yeah, I know I've said that before, but it's true this time.
I have a goal for this Saturday - go to the bank, get an allen wrench for the bathtub, send out my dry cleaning, sweep, try to get tickets to the ball game on Sunday, check out the Young Frankenstein show. Very exciting. I'll keep you posted.
But as far as getting serious - I have never been one for discipline, but I really have to get to my exercising on a really regular basis - I'll keep you posted. I really know you are all riveted! Anyway, much love to all!
Other than that, Alistair is home, so I'll have plenty to discuss with you all in the upcoming days. I do want to say that I've gotten rid of my cable, joined netflix and have found a new love for the internet. So, I'll be posting more often. Yeah, yeah, I know I've said that before, but it's true this time.
I have a goal for this Saturday - go to the bank, get an allen wrench for the bathtub, send out my dry cleaning, sweep, try to get tickets to the ball game on Sunday, check out the Young Frankenstein show. Very exciting. I'll keep you posted.
But as far as getting serious - I have never been one for discipline, but I really have to get to my exercising on a really regular basis - I'll keep you posted. I really know you are all riveted! Anyway, much love to all!
Sunday, July 08, 2007
June was CRAZY with a capital C
I thought May was busy, but let me tell you, June was CRAZY. I was trying to stay busy while Alistair was away. He was gone longer than usual this time because of his "summer job". He's mounting Leps (aka Butterflies or Moths). But here are some highlights of what happened to me!
Ciara and Gus took pity on me and took me out to dinner. Actually, I know they don't pity me - it was a newer Spanish restaurant that they had never tried. So, we had sangria and paella and several tapas. It was pretty good. The second picture was taken by staff and it is a big complicated camera - so sorry about the clarity.
Everyone is having babies, Hellie, Tiffany, and Chuck (my boss). He brought his TWINS (yep, that's right, twins) to work to show them off. Will and Ella (fraternal twins). Carrie looks great and all the guys that turn to mush when a baby comes around it great!
Then, just a few days after seeing Chuck's new babies - Tiffany decided to have one! Keira Rae has arrived. She came on June 16 at 5:30ish in the AM. Mom and Baby were great - Dad, too.
I left seeing Keira Rae right after I took these photos and hung out with Ariva, and the kids (Sonya was the only one I knew right away). The others are her friends. I'd tell you there names, but some of them are not so easy to spell. But they were great - we saw High School Musical. It was done by a summer theater group of kids. The girls loved it! The young man (funny kid, really) kept telling me that it was definitely NOT High School Musical. It's an adaptation for the stage and the kids were much younger than the regular Disney show.
THEN I left that to meet Amy and Tiffany (Dillman, this time, not Canavan). We went and saw the Gwen Stefani Concert. IT was awesome. I only have a few pictures from before. I have to download the ones from my phone from the concert. The ones of Amy afterward are when Amy and I went shopping at the SUPER mall (it wasn't so super, but it did have a merri-go-round).
Alistair came home a couple of days later. He was trying to surprise me, but alas, he failed. I could tell he was on the road (he kept calling me all day). That weekend we saw the pride parade they had on Broadway (the half way one, not the real one). Take a peek, but be careful, they are a little racy. . .
The fourth came rumbling by (Alistair stayed - yay!!). The first few pictures you see the shows that were across the sound (it was kind of cool). The rest are some from the Ivar's show. I would like to mention that despite Alistair's asterisks by our win, Ciara and I DID win at Trival Pursuit. Alistair doesn't like it because we used the 20th Anniversary version which is a little different - but we SOUNDLY beat them. I will note that Gus and Alistair have won more times that Ciara and I, but, still, I needed to point out our win.
Okay - I will try (again) to do this more often. Much love to all.
Ciara and Gus took pity on me and took me out to dinner. Actually, I know they don't pity me - it was a newer Spanish restaurant that they had never tried. So, we had sangria and paella and several tapas. It was pretty good. The second picture was taken by staff and it is a big complicated camera - so sorry about the clarity.
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| Gaude |
Everyone is having babies, Hellie, Tiffany, and Chuck (my boss). He brought his TWINS (yep, that's right, twins) to work to show them off. Will and Ella (fraternal twins). Carrie looks great and all the guys that turn to mush when a baby comes around it great!
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| Chuck's Babies |
Then, just a few days after seeing Chuck's new babies - Tiffany decided to have one! Keira Rae has arrived. She came on June 16 at 5:30ish in the AM. Mom and Baby were great - Dad, too.
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| Keira Rae |
I left seeing Keira Rae right after I took these photos and hung out with Ariva, and the kids (Sonya was the only one I knew right away). The others are her friends. I'd tell you there names, but some of them are not so easy to spell. But they were great - we saw High School Musical. It was done by a summer theater group of kids. The girls loved it! The young man (funny kid, really) kept telling me that it was definitely NOT High School Musical. It's an adaptation for the stage and the kids were much younger than the regular Disney show.
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| High School Musical |
THEN I left that to meet Amy and Tiffany (Dillman, this time, not Canavan). We went and saw the Gwen Stefani Concert. IT was awesome. I only have a few pictures from before. I have to download the ones from my phone from the concert. The ones of Amy afterward are when Amy and I went shopping at the SUPER mall (it wasn't so super, but it did have a merri-go-round).
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| Gwen Stefani Weekend |
Alistair came home a couple of days later. He was trying to surprise me, but alas, he failed. I could tell he was on the road (he kept calling me all day). That weekend we saw the pride parade they had on Broadway (the half way one, not the real one). Take a peek, but be careful, they are a little racy. . .
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| Pride Parade |
The fourth came rumbling by (Alistair stayed - yay!!). The first few pictures you see the shows that were across the sound (it was kind of cool). The rest are some from the Ivar's show. I would like to mention that despite Alistair's asterisks by our win, Ciara and I DID win at Trival Pursuit. Alistair doesn't like it because we used the 20th Anniversary version which is a little different - but we SOUNDLY beat them. I will note that Gus and Alistair have won more times that Ciara and I, but, still, I needed to point out our win.
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| 2007 Fourth of July |
Okay - I will try (again) to do this more often. Much love to all.
Wednesday, June 06, 2007
I've been busy
hey all! yes, I know, it's been awhile. I have been busy. It has been really really nice here. . . so I walked around Seattle a couple of times. This particular time I saw this horse carriage guy talking to a woman and here VERY bold puppy. It was so cute, so I thought I'd take some pics. Let me know what you think.
Went to Ciara's birthday party and had a great time. . .
babysat Sonya a couple of times . . . Isn't she the cutest?
took pictures of Tiffany's belly (and her husband too) . . . there are more, but I have to get them to Tiffany first before I show all the rest of you. . .
had a baby shower for Tiffany . . . it was really fun. It was at work, but what I did was have everyone bring in their baby pictures (thanks Dad by the way) and then we all had to guess who was who. . . it was pretty funny. Of the 20 or so pictures, only one person got more than 6 right - and that was Josh - he got 11, but that's still pretty good. Everyone thought it was fun. We had good food and nice conversation and Keira (Tiff's belly not to be confused with my friend Ciara) got some nice gifts. Can't wait until she gets here so I can take pics of her too. Tiff says she's dilated (is that the right term?) 1 centimeter and is 70% something (you know those pregnancy terms get me so whatever). . .
watched my cats lay in the sun and love my new rugs in the bathroom . . . (alistair played with the kitties too when he could visit) . . . they LOVE the sun. . .aren't they cute!
I've learned how to make fabulous bread - NO KIDDING - it's great - check it out here at the NEW YORK TIMES -->
Last weekend I played poker (I lost), watched the Stanely Cup (The Ducks Win - which is what I wanted), and went to a baseball game (the Mariners Win!!)!
This weekend, I'm going to Hellie's baby shower and then WHITEWATER RAFTING on the Wenachee River - how cool is that??? Hopefully I can get some more pictures out there for everyone! Then the following weekend I get to go to High School Musical with Sonya and her mom Arvia. Then the next day I'm going with Amy and Tiffany (a different one than the preggers one) to see Gwen Stephani. . . can't wait! THEN the following weekend, I'm going to go and meet Alistair in Idaho (I think. .. we haven't picked yet). Then I think I'll take a break - I'll need it for when Hannah and Laura visit in September and October. . . but hopefully I'll be doing something before then.
AND ALISTAIR??? Well, if you haven't noticed, he hardly answers his phone because he's busy with a crazy BEETLE convention. He's been working his little heart out there in Montana on beetles and making friends with other beetle lovers. I'm not there to take pictures, so none to show. Maybe I'll get him to post some bug stuff soon. He did go caving. . . in an ice cave. Unfortunately you can really only see the outside. ..
He just started his "summer job" mounting some butterflies. And if you know Alistair, it's a kind of torture. Butterflies. . . can you hear him berating all the butterflies in the drawer? I can. . .
more to come - it's been an exciting summer so far!
much love to you all!
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| horseNdog |
Went to Ciara's birthday party and had a great time. . .
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| Ciara's Birthday! |
babysat Sonya a couple of times . . . Isn't she the cutest?
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| A Day with Sonya |
took pictures of Tiffany's belly (and her husband too) . . . there are more, but I have to get them to Tiffany first before I show all the rest of you. . .
had a baby shower for Tiffany . . . it was really fun. It was at work, but what I did was have everyone bring in their baby pictures (thanks Dad by the way) and then we all had to guess who was who. . . it was pretty funny. Of the 20 or so pictures, only one person got more than 6 right - and that was Josh - he got 11, but that's still pretty good. Everyone thought it was fun. We had good food and nice conversation and Keira (Tiff's belly not to be confused with my friend Ciara) got some nice gifts. Can't wait until she gets here so I can take pics of her too. Tiff says she's dilated (is that the right term?) 1 centimeter and is 70% something (you know those pregnancy terms get me so whatever). . .
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| Tiffany's Baby Shower |
watched my cats lay in the sun and love my new rugs in the bathroom . . . (alistair played with the kitties too when he could visit) . . . they LOVE the sun. . .aren't they cute!
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| kitties |
I've learned how to make fabulous bread - NO KIDDING - it's great - check it out here at the NEW YORK TIMES -->
Recipe: No-Knead Bread
I tried it and will post my bread making abilities via a picture later. . . it's wonderful. Guz Perez (thank you Gus) taught me how to do it! Well, he told me about it and then sent me the website. Oh, and he lent me a covered pan to make it in. Oh. . .AND he gave me the yeast. . .so, I really owe it all to him.Last weekend I played poker (I lost), watched the Stanely Cup (The Ducks Win - which is what I wanted), and went to a baseball game (the Mariners Win!!)!
This weekend, I'm going to Hellie's baby shower and then WHITEWATER RAFTING on the Wenachee River - how cool is that??? Hopefully I can get some more pictures out there for everyone! Then the following weekend I get to go to High School Musical with Sonya and her mom Arvia. Then the next day I'm going with Amy and Tiffany (a different one than the preggers one) to see Gwen Stephani. . . can't wait! THEN the following weekend, I'm going to go and meet Alistair in Idaho (I think. .. we haven't picked yet). Then I think I'll take a break - I'll need it for when Hannah and Laura visit in September and October. . . but hopefully I'll be doing something before then.
AND ALISTAIR??? Well, if you haven't noticed, he hardly answers his phone because he's busy with a crazy BEETLE convention. He's been working his little heart out there in Montana on beetles and making friends with other beetle lovers. I'm not there to take pictures, so none to show. Maybe I'll get him to post some bug stuff soon. He did go caving. . . in an ice cave. Unfortunately you can really only see the outside. ..
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| ice-cave |
He just started his "summer job" mounting some butterflies. And if you know Alistair, it's a kind of torture. Butterflies. . . can you hear him berating all the butterflies in the drawer? I can. . .
more to come - it's been an exciting summer so far!
much love to you all!
Sunday, April 15, 2007
A whole month goes by!
A lot has gone on in a month. I can't believe it's been that long! Everyone is good. Alistair has been working hard at school, doing proposals, tests, and teaching. He complains about the cold, but I think a few of us know about the whole cold thing!
When Alistair came back in the middle of March, we didn't think he's be able to come back for our anniversary on April 1st, so we went out to El Gaucho (our favorite steak place) to celebrate. Cj tried to come with us as you can see.
But, alas, he got away on our anniversary and surprised me by coming home. It was great. We did fabulous things, like . . . .hang pictures, pet cats. . . you all know - very glamorous stuff! Here's the fruit of our efforts.
Though, it's not the only one. And, unfortunately, I haven't spent much time on pictures, so the pictures in this one are still factory owned. Pretty sad, I know.
Here are some kitty pictures, though - Alistair and willie are best friends. Willie likes the TV more than we do. And I kid you not when I say, we didn't stage this. . . it fell there and he just didn't move, kept on cleaning him self.
Then Alistair had a lovey dovey session with Willie.
Though, I think Willie likes the furry blanket we got from Carol and Doug WAY better than he likes either of us. Here's a picture of him just hugging it. He's usually caught up in cleaning the nice blankey. It doesn't bite him (like CJ) or hiss at him (like mouse mouse) or shoo him away in the middle of the night when he's laying on your head (like me. . . and alistair). So, I guess it's the perfect friend.
In addition, I've been hanging out with this cool 6 year old, Sonya - she's the daughter of Peter Clitherow (I work with him). Technically we call it babysitting, but Sonya and I seem to have a pretty good time.
She came over to my house a couple of saturdays ago and played nintendo. . . we don't do that most of the time - but this time was special. Say hi! Isn't she cute!
When Alistair came back in the middle of March, we didn't think he's be able to come back for our anniversary on April 1st, so we went out to El Gaucho (our favorite steak place) to celebrate. Cj tried to come with us as you can see.
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| Night out on the town |
But, alas, he got away on our anniversary and surprised me by coming home. It was great. We did fabulous things, like . . . .hang pictures, pet cats. . . you all know - very glamorous stuff! Here's the fruit of our efforts.
Though, it's not the only one. And, unfortunately, I haven't spent much time on pictures, so the pictures in this one are still factory owned. Pretty sad, I know.
Here are some kitty pictures, though - Alistair and willie are best friends. Willie likes the TV more than we do. And I kid you not when I say, we didn't stage this. . . it fell there and he just didn't move, kept on cleaning him self.
Then Alistair had a lovey dovey session with Willie.
Though, I think Willie likes the furry blanket we got from Carol and Doug WAY better than he likes either of us. Here's a picture of him just hugging it. He's usually caught up in cleaning the nice blankey. It doesn't bite him (like CJ) or hiss at him (like mouse mouse) or shoo him away in the middle of the night when he's laying on your head (like me. . . and alistair). So, I guess it's the perfect friend.
In addition, I've been hanging out with this cool 6 year old, Sonya - she's the daughter of Peter Clitherow (I work with him). Technically we call it babysitting, but Sonya and I seem to have a pretty good time.
She came over to my house a couple of saturdays ago and played nintendo. . . we don't do that most of the time - but this time was special. Say hi! Isn't she cute!
Saturday, March 10, 2007
craziness!
Hey! I had a great night last night. Gus and I went to get tattoos. We've been talking about it for a week or so. And I've been talking about it for a couple of months. We went on Thursday night for some bigger tattoos, but we found that we actually needed to think that stuff out a little more. Then on the way home after watching the U Dub get their butts handed to them in a basketball game, we decided we should bond over some drum corps. So we did.
Gus was part of Orlando Magic and if anyone knows me, you know it's all about the Madison Scouts. So we decided to get corps tattoos. So last night, after work, we went out and got them! They're AWESOME! We love it. Gus got a 6 (for the 6 guys) and a bass clef.
and kp? I got the fleur de lys. . . of course!
So, take a look at the whole gallery.
Afterwards, we met up with Kevin (the new U dub professor) and Javier and Anna and Linda's on Pine. Fun times - definitely AWWWWESome! Much love to them!
Exciting news - Alistair is coming back for spring break. He'll be here for a couple of days. I'm super excited. We'll keep you updated on the week's happenings.
The house is coming together - I got an under the sink organizer which makes me super excited. It's the little things I guess. I'm off to get special floor cleaner - I know you're excited about it.
love to all, more pictures and blogging to come.
Gus was part of Orlando Magic and if anyone knows me, you know it's all about the Madison Scouts. So we decided to get corps tattoos. So last night, after work, we went out and got them! They're AWESOME! We love it. Gus got a 6 (for the 6 guys) and a bass clef.
and kp? I got the fleur de lys. . . of course!
So, take a look at the whole gallery.
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| Tattoos |
Exciting news - Alistair is coming back for spring break. He'll be here for a couple of days. I'm super excited. We'll keep you updated on the week's happenings.
The house is coming together - I got an under the sink organizer which makes me super excited. It's the little things I guess. I'm off to get special floor cleaner - I know you're excited about it.
love to all, more pictures and blogging to come.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
A night out on the town
Saturday was fabulous. Diana and I went out to dinner at the Capitol Club - I had the burger and she had a pita sandwich of some sort (sorry Diana, can't exactly remember it). Then we headed over to Lo Fi to listen to Saundrah's new band Bad Dream Good Breakfast. Check out their music. It's really cool. I really like the website too, (the first link) - it's kind of a cool comic book/graphic novel. . .
We had a lot of fun and chatted with lots of people. There were actually three bands and it was great. Check out the pictures! You'll see Diana, Jen and Derek (they're at the end). Saundrah is in a bunch since it's her band (and she invited us!). Anyway - much love to all!
We had a lot of fun and chatted with lots of people. There were actually three bands and it was great. Check out the pictures! You'll see Diana, Jen and Derek (they're at the end). Saundrah is in a bunch since it's her band (and she invited us!). Anyway - much love to all!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Back in Action
It's been awhile. But those that know us, know we've been busy with life. But to get back to what's important and filling everyone in on that! You all know I did a play, so check out the pictures
We had a great view of the New Year's celebration! It was quite tame, I assure you. Our friend Gus came on over and we all had a great time playing poker and watching Rob n Big (check it out on Mtv - really - I recommend it - it' s a little weird watching friends on a tv show, but they're quite endearing to watch (if you can believe that on Mtv). At any rate - here's a look at our view
Alistair went back to school the week after New Year's. He called me to tell me the car didn't work and that it was 15 below (and no he assured me that was NOT the wind chill reading). Apparently you shouldn't leave your car in Montana for two months to have snow pile up on it and roast in wonderful negative degree temperatures. . . .what do you think?
Well, if that wasn't bad enough, the West Coast has been getting winter (someone things the East Coast needed a break this year with all those 70 degree days!). I woke up on Tuesday morning to snow on Capitol Hill. Normally, when it snows here, it doesn't stick to the roads, but the roads were covered! As were the cars and everything else. I walked to work instead of taking the bus. Mostly because I got almost all the way there before a bus passed me, but also because I saw the lack of control Seattle drivers (bus driver or no) when they put their breaks on - and when you live on a hill, gravity does lots of work! On my way, I took some pictures. The last ones are of a couple making a snow man at the bike park just above the freeway. It was cute. Check it out
If you click on any of the pictures, they should take you to a link to my Picasa folder on Google (they're the best).
As for the rest of my time. I've really been working pretty hard. But I want to try to get to more of the city and do things here. So, I've gone to see a movie or two. I saw the Departed (completely recommend - even Marky Mark was good). I was invested emotionally in the characters and I think that's a little difficult when you have a cast of people like Leo, Matt, Mark, Martin and Jack - I mean, other than Jack, they haven't done anything really amazing - and even Jack's a questionable. But it's a script that doesn't follow the typical Hollywood formula and that's refreshing if not just a little unsatisfying from a closure standpoint (see every romance movie with Hugh Grant). I learned it's a remake of a Hong Kong movie Infernal Affairs which is apparently very very good - so if you're interested in a foreign film, check it out. The bottom line is that you need to see The Departed. It's not for the squeamish as there is the love of the old blood packet nor is it for the persnickety - according to the trivia at imdb.com, the variations of the f-word is used over 230 times. . . that aside, really, it's a very good crime drama.
I've also seen the newly out David Lynch movie called Inland Empire. David Lynch of Blue Velvet, Wild At Heart, Mulholland Dr., and the most widely known Twin Peaks fame, does it again in this new film. It starts out very oddly, so oddly, in fact, I start to think I may not be able to pull out any understanding (it involves lifesize bunnies. . . is there much more to say there?). However, then it delves into the real story. Not surprisingly, you see Laura Dern. Now, for the most part, I only believe Ms. Dern has any money is because of Mr. Lynch - and not exactly rightly so. . . he apparently has some very bizarre fetish for the woman that completely escapes me. But I do have to say - she's good - really good in this film. So good, in fact, that during the movie, I was actually actively thinking, "she deserves a nomination for this film."
It gets dicey in the middle of the 3 hours. Now, I'm not sure if it was because it was about 2am when I started to nod off, or if it was because the film was a little beyond my reach at this point. I'm going to chalk it up to a little of both because I slapped my face awake for the last 45 minutes and didn't miss a beat about what the movie was possibly trying to convey. Now I say possibly because David Lynch (as my friend and co-worker Saundrah said so eloquently - and truly) lives in a dream state. Nothing really makes that much sense, but at the root level, it relates to something that happened before. I read a review from a Portland reviewer that recommended seeing it several times (see Mulholland Dr.) and it will become a great favorite of yours. I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I could see it again (maybe not until 3pm on a school night) and I like it. It was interesting.
But really, I saw it at an unreasonable time - and why you ask? Well, Mr. Lynch was in Seattle all day yesterday. He was giving autographs and introduced the movie at 7:30pm followed by a QnA. Now, I WOULD have gone to the 7:30pm show had it not been SOLD OUT for several weeks. So, alas, I was stuck going to the late late show. For those of you that now start to worry about me being alone at night - fear not, I had a friend along! Back to the important part you're missing. David Lynch ALSO introduced the midnight show - though now QnA followed as 3am "is past his bedtime" (as quoted by the hosting artist sponsor). Isn't that past EVERYONE'S bed time on a Wednesday? Oh well, something cool and interesting to do here in Seattle.
Now that you've been brought up to speed - I'll keep you all posted. Tomorrow night I have tickets to In DisDress Now: Redux. It got a Stranger Suggests for this week, and it looks good and it's only for two more nights. So, I'll let you know how it is. There's a one act festival on Sunday I might crash. . . but we'll see. Then I'll check this out next week - a musical about a brain aneurysm - it's based on the author's real diagnosis (apparently incorrect diagnosis). That'll take me right up to Feb 1 - and guess what I'm doing then?????
I'm visiting the FAMILY! Super excited to do it too. Hannah's got a basketball game on the Monday and Laura's birthday (and the superbowl) are on that Sunday. Plus I'll get to see Grandma, Mom, Dad, Pat, Joe, the boys, and Paul - and I hope to see many more!
Much love - I'll update you on my theater experiment tomorrow night.
We had a great view of the New Year's celebration! It was quite tame, I assure you. Our friend Gus came on over and we all had a great time playing poker and watching Rob n Big (check it out on Mtv - really - I recommend it - it' s a little weird watching friends on a tv show, but they're quite endearing to watch (if you can believe that on Mtv). At any rate - here's a look at our view
Alistair went back to school the week after New Year's. He called me to tell me the car didn't work and that it was 15 below (and no he assured me that was NOT the wind chill reading). Apparently you shouldn't leave your car in Montana for two months to have snow pile up on it and roast in wonderful negative degree temperatures. . . .what do you think?
Well, if that wasn't bad enough, the West Coast has been getting winter (someone things the East Coast needed a break this year with all those 70 degree days!). I woke up on Tuesday morning to snow on Capitol Hill. Normally, when it snows here, it doesn't stick to the roads, but the roads were covered! As were the cars and everything else. I walked to work instead of taking the bus. Mostly because I got almost all the way there before a bus passed me, but also because I saw the lack of control Seattle drivers (bus driver or no) when they put their breaks on - and when you live on a hill, gravity does lots of work! On my way, I took some pictures. The last ones are of a couple making a snow man at the bike park just above the freeway. It was cute. Check it out
If you click on any of the pictures, they should take you to a link to my Picasa folder on Google (they're the best).
As for the rest of my time. I've really been working pretty hard. But I want to try to get to more of the city and do things here. So, I've gone to see a movie or two. I saw the Departed (completely recommend - even Marky Mark was good). I was invested emotionally in the characters and I think that's a little difficult when you have a cast of people like Leo, Matt, Mark, Martin and Jack - I mean, other than Jack, they haven't done anything really amazing - and even Jack's a questionable. But it's a script that doesn't follow the typical Hollywood formula and that's refreshing if not just a little unsatisfying from a closure standpoint (see every romance movie with Hugh Grant). I learned it's a remake of a Hong Kong movie Infernal Affairs which is apparently very very good - so if you're interested in a foreign film, check it out. The bottom line is that you need to see The Departed. It's not for the squeamish as there is the love of the old blood packet nor is it for the persnickety - according to the trivia at imdb.com, the variations of the f-word is used over 230 times. . . that aside, really, it's a very good crime drama.
I've also seen the newly out David Lynch movie called Inland Empire. David Lynch of Blue Velvet, Wild At Heart, Mulholland Dr., and the most widely known Twin Peaks fame, does it again in this new film. It starts out very oddly, so oddly, in fact, I start to think I may not be able to pull out any understanding (it involves lifesize bunnies. . . is there much more to say there?). However, then it delves into the real story. Not surprisingly, you see Laura Dern. Now, for the most part, I only believe Ms. Dern has any money is because of Mr. Lynch - and not exactly rightly so. . . he apparently has some very bizarre fetish for the woman that completely escapes me. But I do have to say - she's good - really good in this film. So good, in fact, that during the movie, I was actually actively thinking, "she deserves a nomination for this film."
It gets dicey in the middle of the 3 hours. Now, I'm not sure if it was because it was about 2am when I started to nod off, or if it was because the film was a little beyond my reach at this point. I'm going to chalk it up to a little of both because I slapped my face awake for the last 45 minutes and didn't miss a beat about what the movie was possibly trying to convey. Now I say possibly because David Lynch (as my friend and co-worker Saundrah said so eloquently - and truly) lives in a dream state. Nothing really makes that much sense, but at the root level, it relates to something that happened before. I read a review from a Portland reviewer that recommended seeing it several times (see Mulholland Dr.) and it will become a great favorite of yours. I'm not sure I'd go that far, but I could see it again (maybe not until 3pm on a school night) and I like it. It was interesting.
But really, I saw it at an unreasonable time - and why you ask? Well, Mr. Lynch was in Seattle all day yesterday. He was giving autographs and introduced the movie at 7:30pm followed by a QnA. Now, I WOULD have gone to the 7:30pm show had it not been SOLD OUT for several weeks. So, alas, I was stuck going to the late late show. For those of you that now start to worry about me being alone at night - fear not, I had a friend along! Back to the important part you're missing. David Lynch ALSO introduced the midnight show - though now QnA followed as 3am "is past his bedtime" (as quoted by the hosting artist sponsor). Isn't that past EVERYONE'S bed time on a Wednesday? Oh well, something cool and interesting to do here in Seattle.
Now that you've been brought up to speed - I'll keep you all posted. Tomorrow night I have tickets to In DisDress Now: Redux. It got a Stranger Suggests for this week, and it looks good and it's only for two more nights. So, I'll let you know how it is. There's a one act festival on Sunday I might crash. . . but we'll see. Then I'll check this out next week - a musical about a brain aneurysm - it's based on the author's real diagnosis (apparently incorrect diagnosis). That'll take me right up to Feb 1 - and guess what I'm doing then?????
I'm visiting the FAMILY! Super excited to do it too. Hannah's got a basketball game on the Monday and Laura's birthday (and the superbowl) are on that Sunday. Plus I'll get to see Grandma, Mom, Dad, Pat, Joe, the boys, and Paul - and I hope to see many more!
Much love - I'll update you on my theater experiment tomorrow night.
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