and actually, i'm not totally destroyed - which is sort of new.
but also, days like today also remind me how much i love what i do and how much i love the people around me and really, how much they love me back.
first - i have to say that i'm especially sensitive today to being irritated due to the healing of my most awesome tattoo - it itches so badly that i am concerned i might actually commit homicide if someone looks at me the wrong way - which would really be a waste of a homicide. . . if i'm gonna play that chip, i probably should make it count (for those of you that don't know me well, please note this is not actually a real concern). and part of this easily irritateable state is due to my (not public so don't ask me) endeavor to actually quit smoking. but didn't tell you that.
second - due to the most awesome best friend, i did not sleep a lot last night as i was out late belatedly celebrating my birthday at Aragona (i'm gonna have to write about that too).
third - i even PREDICTED yesterday that i would fail epically in a meeting today. and i did. epically.
fourth - i had to change my password - which, means i had to actually think - annoying
fifth - in and effort to give someone i work with a good surprise, i managed to lock him out of everything and make him a whole bunch of extra work without even notifying him that i was about to totally mess up his stuff - and then going to lunch and not noticing his calls - and he genuinely was happy to handle the chaos i created because i listened
sixth - i picked a fight with my boss without even meaning to
seventh - i sounded all "know-it-all" today - and wow, that girl is a bitch.
eighth - accidentally sending my back tattoo to the 11 year old daughter of one of my co-workers. . .she must have been terrified. . . and that could have gone all kinds of bad
BUT - so much happened too, that counteracted that shitty stuff.
exhibit a) Tiffany brought me chocolate because i was feeling so badly.
exhibit b) Julie came by after saving up the banana laffy taffys for me, which probably means she had to fend off very sugar crazed technologists
exhibit c) randomly going to lunch alone because i could not live without a burger and meeting Jason, Eric, Chris and Trish and having a wonderful time.
exhibit d) my boss coming to me and telling me how i might have approached today better and complimenting me on my ability to recognize my own failures
exhibit e) Scott asking me (after so many years) if he could glean any of my lessons about my current reading/writing goal (and he's a totally ridiculously scandalously talented and funny writer)
exhibit f) Melinda and i setting up lunch to talk before she finishes her book
exhibit g) getting tweets from Alexa about how i help inspire her (she has no idea how cool i think she is and to get those tweets is pretty fucking mind-blowing)
exhibit h) getting Darth Vader on Facebook (i mean seriously, i'm not so secretly fucking psyched that i'm vader - duh)
exhibit i) being passionate about my team and my work and still getting outraged at the inhumanity of it all when i could just be jaded
exhibit j) being ok about my failure today. i mean, at least i knew it would be a trigger and how i would be. and now, i can figure out how to not do that next time.
exhibit k) my actual ability to breath and not be pissed off that mindful breathing works. . .
exhibit l) coming home to a full fridge full of things my husband got for me specifically because i love these things (like beer and cheese - yeah, i'm so from wisconsin)
i'm glad that life isn't really like a video game and life force tokens can be cached rather than limited to 5 and crash over the bank of all the following days.
i'll leave you with something else that made me smile. . . a picture from 5 years ago when i was stage manager of an opera in New York. dude, that was fucking awesome.
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