best florida yoda bartender

she makes the one on the left a drink, it’s vodka and something, the resulting color is still clear. he’s asked for a lime. a lime squeezed into the vodka concoction. don’t put the lime in there, he says. just squeeze it. so she’s doing that. and while she’s squeezing it in there, he repeats, squeeeeeeeze it. . . yeah, don’t you put that lime in there. i don’t want it in there. a little under her breath she says, yes, i know, you don’t want the lime in there. she finishes squeezing and i see that she brings her hand up a little more than necessary to show him she really isn't putting that lime in his drink. i smile a little with the side of my mouth. the one on the right tells her that they want to close out. she goes to the register, tallies it up, turns around and informs them that the total is $31.46. the one on the left says WHAT??? like he’s being funny while he pulls out money from his wallet. the one on the right laughs. . . like’s it’s a thing the one on the left must do often. it’s not funny. it’s actually annoying. she's been very patient. they’ve been a bit loud and annoying the whole time. but you know, it’s florida, it’s vacation, they’ve had alcohol. they pay, the one on the left sucks down the vodka drink with the squeezed-but-not-in-the-glass-lime. they walk past me and the woman behind the bar starts washing their glasses. oh my god they were annoying, i hear. i look up. she looks at me. so annoying, still washing dishes. i snort as i laugh out loud.  i tell her she’s my new favorite person. she repeats. .. just so annoying. she comes over and in a low voice she shares with me that the one on the left went and got the snacks meant only for the people who buy coffee. showing me the length of the snacks with her two index fingers. with a look only a mother can give her kids when she disapproves, she says, some nerve he has. she has just become florida’s best yoda bartender.